


The Burden Of Loving Him

by authordrawingmusic



Series: Falsettos College AU [4]
Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn, Falsettos - Lapine/Finn (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Background Relationships, Bottom Whizzer Brown, College, Developing Relationship, Emotional Constipation, Emotionally Repressed, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Gay Marvin (Falsettos), Gay Whizzer Brown, Healthy Relationships, Light Angst, M/M, Marvin (Falsettos) Being an Asshole, Marvin is a Mess (Falsettos), POV Whizzer Brown, Photographer Whizzer Brown, Sassy Whizzer Brown, Top Marvin (Falsettos), Unhealthy Relationships, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Whizzer Brown Deserves Better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-01-30 03:41:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21421600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/authordrawingmusic/pseuds/authordrawingmusic
Summary: Mendel found out about Marvin and Whizzer. What now?
Relationships: Dr. Charlotte/Cordelia (Falsettos), Trina/Mendel Weisenbachfeld, Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Series: Falsettos College AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1445971
Comments: 46
Kudos: 81





	1. New Year, New Losses

**Author's Note:**

> And so another part of this series begins. Strap in, this is gonna be even more of a roller coaster than any of the stuff you've seen before.

No. That was the only thought Whizzer's brain could produce. That and swear words, of course. Shit.   
This was not happening. They had been so good at keeping it a secret. They had been so good at not letting anyone find out. And now Mendel had seen them. This was a disaster.   
"Fuck", Whizzer said in frustration.   
"What? What's with you all of a sudden?", Marvin asked with a laugh.   
He walked around Whizzer to look at him and looked confused once he saw Whizzer's expression. Whizzer grit his teeth before answering.   
"Mendel saw", he said.   
Marvin looked at Whizzer as though he was speaking a foreign language. "So?"   
It was so painfully typical for Marvin to not care and in all honesty he wanted to strangle him for it. 

"Mendel is my friend. He is going to feel betrayed and nothing is going to be the same after this. How can you not get that?", he said.   
Marvin crossed his arms and looked at Whizzer for an excruciatingly long moment. He did not say anything he just looked. Finally, he deigned to say something.   
"Because you are so honest and care so much?" The sarcasm in Marvin's words was biting. He paused. "You knew this was wrong from the get go. And still you kept this up."   
That landed like a punch to the gut. Whizzer glared at Marvin.   
"Just because Mendel didn't like you before this and you don't have to care doesn't mean I don't have to", Whizzer spat.   
Marvin stepped closer to Whizzer. "You really think I don't care? Good to know how low you think of me." He growled his words more than he said them. 

"You act like you're better than me. But you're not", Marvin said quietly. "You have been along for the ride the entire time. And you loved it. So don't go complaining now."   
Whizzer looked at Marvin before turning his gaze away. Marvin was right. Whizzer had enjoyed all of their fucked up back and forth. And now he would get what he had paid for. He looked back at Marvin.   
"Fuck you, Marvin", he said and took a step closer to the man.   
"Oh yeah?", Marvin asked, challenging Whizzer with his facial expression. Whizzer felt Marvin pull him closer by his waist.   
"Yeah", Whizzer said with a cold expression and nodded once.   
"You're a dick", Marvin said, his grip on Whizzer's waist tightening.   
"And you're an asshole", Whizzer said before pulling Marvin in for another, this time more violent and passionate kiss. 

This wouldn't solve anything and Whizzer knew it. It just felt too damn fucking good to stop or make any sort of attempt at self restraint. Marvin was the only one who could quiet down Whizzer's brain, constantly racing with thoughts.   
After some time of attacking each other's mouths, they became more desperate. Whizzer pulled Marvin's face closer to his while Marvin's hands slowly but surely found their way under Whizzer's jacket. God, this felt good.  
Marvin took the reigns and steered Whizzer around until his back hit the wall Marvin had been leaning up against not too long ago. Whizzer broke their kiss in surprise at the collision. Suddenly Marvin was much more interested in Whizzer's neck, which he found out when Marvin began nibbling on Whizzers ear, working his way down to the side of Whizzer's neck. 

"You are such a jackass", he whispered. Marvin revenge himself by biting his neck harder than necessary.   
Whizzer gasped and hissed and clawed at Marvin's back, which just chuckled into his neck at the enthusiastic reaction. He rolled his eyes at Marvin's amused reaction while the latter was busying himself now with sucking hickeys onto Whizzer's neck.   
They were like this for quite a while. Time just kind of started blurring together. The only thing that told Whizzer that time had passed was that the skin of his neck had become very sensitive.   
Marvin stopped for a moment to give Whizzer a cocky grin. Whizzer rolled his eyes at him and sighed in mock annoyance.   
That little pause let Whizzer's brain power up again. He remembered and realized just how bad this situation was. What made it this bad was how much Whizzer was enjoying himself. 

He should have run after Mendel and talked to him. He should have talked to his friend and explained everything, owned up to it and hoped for the best. Was it too late?   
"Marvin, I have to find Mendel", he said.   
Marvin leaned against the wall with his hands, leaving Whizzer trapped between his arms. He looked at Whizzer softly with raised eyebrows.   
"You don't have to do anything. You can talk to him tomorrow. He's your roommate after all", he said with a slight and careless smile.   
Whizzer's eyes went wide just. Just slightly. What the fuck was his deal? He didn't like Mendel and Mendel didn't like him, but what the fuck was that supposed to mean.   
"You can't be serious." Whizzer ducked under Marvin's arm and looked at Marvin with a mix of disappointment and frustration. Marvin stood up normally again, looking annoyed. 

Whizzer crossed his arms. "He's my friend. The least I can do is try stand up to what I did."   
Marvin scoffed. "Like that will make a difference", he said and rolled his eyes. "You know as well as me, if not better, that Mendel hates my guts for what I did to Trina by cheating on her. How do you think he's going to handle his friend and roommate contributing to that?"   
"I didnt cheat on Trina with another guy", Whizzer reminded him. "So that one's on you, Mr. Innocent."   
Marvin looked at Whizzer as though he had betrayed him. Playing the victim, as always.   
"I need to talk to him, okay?", Whizzer started walking away.   
"Okay. But don't expect me to be there when Mendel makes a scene", Marvin shouted after him. "I'm not going to wait for you here."  
"Fine", Whizzer shouted over his shoulder. "I don't need you to look out for me."   
"Fine", he heard Marvin shout. 

Whizzer was frustrated as he stomped away from Marvin. The crowd still outside despite the fact that the fireworks had subsided a while ago. As he approached the crowd of people, the frustration became anxiety. He had seriously fucked up, hadn't he?   
Whizzer looked pretty much everywhere outside before continuing his search for his roommate inside the house. He wasn't successful there either. He simply couldn't find Mendel.   
After what felt like an eternity, but had really just been fifteen minutes, Whizzer finally saw a familiar face. Two, in fact. It was The Lesbians having a good time.   
"Hey, Cordelia", he began. The girls stopped kissing and looked at him. Cordelia furrowed her brows and crossed her arms.   
"Where were you? I hope you at least got a midnight kiss if you skipped out on spending midnight with us." Cordelia slurred her words slightly.  
"Delia, I'm sorry. I wanted to look for you guys, but then something came up. 

"Alright, I forgive you. But only because you're my best friend", she gave him a drunk attempt at a stern look, which quickly resolved into giggles.   
Whizzer turned to Charlotte and just now noticed her suspicious facial expression. She was looking at him. But not at his face.   
"Have you seen Mendel?", he asked Charlotte. "I have been looking for him for a while now and I cant seem to find him. It's important."   
The shorter girl nodded sternly, looking at the ground. She opened her mouth and closed it once or twice before she started speaking.   
"Mendel told me about an hour ago that he was leaving. Trina left with him, because she was pretty drunk", Charlotte explained. "He said he saw Marvin with the guy."  
Charlotte's facial expression didn't reveal anything. Whizzer wasn't quite sure whether she knew or not. If she did know, it at least meant she wasn't as close to ripping his head off as Mendel probably was.

"Well, thanks", he said. "Have fun, you two."   
Whizzer smiled at the two and left as Cordelia went to attack her girlfriend yet again. He got himself one last drink in the hopes of somehow saving the night.   
While sipping at his drink, he tried calling Mendel. And after one ring it went to mailbox. That wasn't good, clearly.   
He tried again. He called, the phone rang once and- straight to mailbox. Shit.   
Third time's the charm. He called Mendel, it rang once and-   
"Hello?", Trina said.   
"Oh, uh. Hi, Trina", Whizzer said.   
"Trina, give me my phone", Whizzer heard Mendel complain somewhere further away from the phone.   
"Mendel doesn't want to talk to you. He is very angry", she explained. "If you care about keeping your face whole, I'd recommend that you stay away. At least for the night." 

Before Whizzer could say one more thing, Trina hung up. Alright. So, Whizzer had no way of talking to Mendel whatsoever. And he didn't have a place to stay, either. Amazing.   
After sulking in frustration, having finished his drink, he knew he only had one option that wouldn't get the person he was staying with mad at him. Maybe, if he was lucky...?  
"Hey, you still at the party?" - 1:20 am  
Whizzer already knew he wasn't going to reply. At least not unless it was some snarky bullshit.

"Oh, so you want more?" - Marvin 1:22 am  
And Whizzer had been right. He sighed, rolled his eyes and replied. Honesty would be his best option of making Marvin actually let him sleep over.

"Mendel is mad at me. Breaking my nose if I happen to go home mad" - 1:23 am   
He waited until the typing icon appeared on his screen and the new message appeared. 

"And now you need a place to stay" - 1:24 am   
Well, no shit. 

"Are you still here?" - 1:25 am  
Whizzer was seriously starting to consider just staying up and pulling an all nighter.

"Outside" - 1:25 am 

Good. Whizzer headed outside immediately. Once outside he immediately saw Marvin, who looked at him with intense eyes and his arms crossed. 

He raised his eyebrows and nodded at Whizzer, beckoning him over.   
"So the pretty boy is back", he stated with a thoughtful smile. "For good this time?"   
How did Marvin do that? He somehow managed to get into Whizzer's head, making himself comfortable there. And Whizzer fucking let him.   
"Yeah", Whizzer replied and licked his bottom lip.   
This immediately drew Marvin's attention to his lips. Marvin's gaze flickered in between his lips and holding eye contact. Then he just held eye contact again, a mischievous smile spreading across his face. Whizzers heart beat faster each second as his mouth went dry.   
"Let's go home", Marvin said, maintaining his smile.  
"Sure." Whizzer couldn't say anymore, so he just nodded.   
He walked beside Marvin and suddenly felt a hand in the small of his back that he definitely didn't mind. 

They had almost made it inside Marvin's apartment. Before they could manage that Marvin apparently decided to have some more fun with Whizzer. At least that's what Whizzer figured when he was pushed up against the door to Marvin's apartment only to have his mouth and neck attacked all over again.   
Whizzer broke away to gasp for air.   
"Is this some kind of hobby to you", he joked breathlessly.   
Marvin just raised his eyebrows and smiled. Whizzer rolled his eyes.   
"God, you're impossible", he muttered before pulling him closer. Marvin didn't close the gap however.   
"And look who's enjoying himself", Marvin asked quietly with a smirk.   
"You are such an ass", Whizzer replied.   
"Shut up", Marvin demanded as he tugged Whizzer towards himself with a now obvious smirk.   
"Make me", Whizzer retorted, now feeling more out of breath again as his heart began racing. 

Marvin grabbed Whizzer by the collar, roughly pulling him closer for yet another few minutes of searing physical contact. Whizzer felt Marvin steer him around a bit and when they stopped making out, he stumbled backwards a step.   
"You okay?", Marvin asked with that fucking smirk.   
Whizzer wanted to wipe that smirk off Marvin's face. So he went into attack mode. He faked over his foggy mind and put on his own smirk.   
"I am", he said and walked towards Marvin.   
Whizzer crowded the man against his apartment door. Marvin raised his eyebrows and huffed a laugh. Whizzer threaded his hands through Marvin's slightly shaggy hair and pulled him in for a kiss. Less than a minute in, Marvin bit Whizzer's lower lips, making him gasp slightly and making his knees almost buckle at the surprise.   
Marvin pushed Whizzer away lightly and spoke. "Let me open the door, you impatient brat." 

Whizzer crossed his arms and leaned against the wall next to the apartment door.   
"Well, you could have opened the door before deciding to ravage me", Whizzer commented sarcastically.   
"Ravage you? That is a choice of words for sure. If I've been ravaging you, it hasn't happened tonight", Marvin said. "And I'm sorry that you're just too damn inviting", Marvin said.   
He looked over at Whizzer with another goddamned smirk. Whizzer blinked at him before shaking his head slightly.  
"Could you stop that", Whizzer complained.   
"What are you talking about?", Marvin said and put on an innocent facial expression. "What do you mean?"  
"That... smile. It's distracting.", he replied, gesturing vaguely in Marvin's direction.   
"Oh, is it?", Marvin asked with raised eyebrows. "How?" 

Whizzer didn't want to be asked questions. He just wanted Marvin to screw him into the next morning.   
"It just is, okay?", he deflected. "Now, didnt you want to open ths door?"   
Marvin looked at him, then turned his attention to the door, which he unlocked. He looked back at Whizzer with an innocent smile. Marvin was so infuriating.   
"The door is open", he said. He stepped aside and motioned for Whizzer to enter.   
Whizzer entered the apartment and leaned against the wall beside the door where his lips immediately met Marvin's again. Whizzer's mind was busy catching up with all the sensations, he was experiencing. So he only noticed that his shirt was open all the way a few minutes later.   
They made their way through the apartment, slowly losing one item of clothing after the other. It was a process, really. Twenty minutes of fumbling and flinging clothes across the room, they had finally made it to Marvin's bedroom and the door slammed shut.


	2. Damn Convenient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Mendel finding out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Whizzer was lying in Marvin's bed, Marvin's arm around him, staring at the ceiling. It was all so surreal. How had he ended up in this situation? How had it come to this and why in God's name did Whizzer feel so calm about this? He had very likely lost one of his closest friends. And over a guy, too.  
Be smart. That's what he hadn't been. Smart.  
Maybe he should leave? He should probably leave. But he didn't have a place to stay. At least not without risking a broken nose.  
Then again... It was 3 in the morning and fucking freezing out. It wouldn't lead to anything if Whizzer wandered around aimlessly. He'd only get sick or something.  
Whizzer sighed in defeat of his internal battle and almost instinctively turned and laid his head on Marvin's chest, just listening to the man's heart beat. The rhythmic beating of the other man's heart slowly but surely helped Whizzer fall asleep. 

Whizzer had a weird dream. He couldn't remember what it was. He just knew that it had to have been weird, because he felt all over the place and not nearly as well rested as he would have liked.  
Slowly, he opened his eyes and realized he was still lying in Marvin's arms. Despite everything, this felt nice. Very nice, actually. A calmness spread from his chest to the rest of his body.  
Whizzer looked at Marvin to see if he was already awake. He wasn't. Marvin looked so soft while asleep like this. His jaw wasn't clenched, his brows weren't strained. Whizzer just looked at him, fascinated by the stark contrast between the awake and asleep versions of Marvin. Whizzer smiled.  
He scooted closer to Marvin to sleep a bit longer. The still asleep Marvin tightened his hold on Whizzer. And Whizzer felt genuinely relaxed for the first time in weeks. 

Some movement finally woke Whizzer up. He groaned slightly as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Had he fallen asleep again? By the looks of it, yes. Whizzer opened his eyes to see Marvin look at him with a soft smile. He had already gotten what he would consider dressed, wearing sweatpants and a graphic tshirt.  
"Good morning, sleepyhead", he said and ruffled Whizzers hair. Whizzer jerked his head away. Since he was still lying down with his head on his pillow, it didnt do much.  
"Stop that. Don't mess up my hair", he said exasperatedly and sat up.  
"You didn't seem to care last night", Marvin retorted with a sheepish grin.  
What a jackass. Whizzer rolled his eyes and scoffed, trying his hardest not to smile.  
"You are-" Whizzer trailed off in lighthearted frustration. "Ugh. Impossible."  
Marvin just looked at him with a half smile. This was nice. Too nice. There had to be something Whizzer wasn't seeing. 

"I was going to make coffee", Marvin began. "But then I remembered that I suck at it. Mind helping me out?"  
"You're hopeless without me, aren't you?", he asked with a laugh.  
Marvin looked at Whizzer with raised eyebrows and rolled his eyes.  
"Fine, I'll make the coffee", Whizzer relented with pursed lips and got up from the bed. "But only because I need coffee myself."  
"Ever the good samaritan", Marvin replied with a sarcastic grin.  
This, this felt much more normal. This was what Whizzer knew and felt comfortable with. He put on some clothes and made his way to the kitchen to make coffee, closely followed by Marvin.  
Five minutes later the coffee was made and they sat down on the living room couch to drink it. Marvin kept looking over at Whizzer in amusement.  
"Is something wrong?", Whizzer asked.  
A self satisfied grin spread across Marvin's face. He sipped at his coffe one last time. 

"Well, Whizzer. There is a very big possibility that", he stopped, trying to keep himself from laughing. "That your neck is covered in hickeys."  
Whizzer's eyes widened. That's why Charlotte had been staring at him like that. He had completely forgotten about it. Jesus fucking Christ. Whizzer felt himself go red and sipped at his coffee. Marvin just kept grinning like a lunatic.  
"And boy, aren't you happy about that", Whizzer said and scoffed.  
"Don't complain to me. You loved it", Marvin defended himself and kept smiling that stupid, handsome smile of his. Whizzer felt his stomach turn slightly and his heart beat faster.  
"Whatever", Whizzer deflected.  
"Alright", Marvin said and chuckled. "You want to watch something? I have an eclectic collection of Broadway bootlegs."  
Whizzer laughed when Marvin pulled a conspiratorial facial expression. 

"Oh, wow. You're a real bad boy, aren't you?", he asked with a mischievous grin.  
"You have no idea", Marvin said with a small smile as he set down his coffee cup.  
He turned to Whizzer and grabbed him by the waist, unexpectedly kissing him and making Whizzer pour a bit of coffee in surprise.  
"Oh shit, sorry", Whizzer said apologetically.  
Marvin left and came back into the living room with paper towels with which he patted the spot dry as best he could.  
"Just pick something to watch on Netflix", he said. "I'm up for a comedy or something like that."  
After some looking, he decided to put on the show BoJack Horseman. He had watched the first two seasons already, so this seemed like a good show to watch.  
He realized that Marvin had actually seen the entirety of the season's already. Good taste. 

"Alright. I picked something", Whizzer declared and Marvin joined him on the couch to watch a few episodes.  
As they watched the episodes, Whizzer noticed how Marvin scooted over more and more until he was right next to Whizzer. He looked at Marvin with an amused smile.  
The shorter man pointedly looked at Whizzer as he faked a yawn and put an arm around him. Whizzer burst into laughter at the cheesiness of that moment. Marvin had a satisfied smirk on his face.  
"You're so cheesy", Whizzer said only to be shushed by Marvin.  
"I wanna watch this", he said.  
Whizzer rolled his eyes in defeat and leaned up against Marvin, putting a hand on his thigh and absentmindedly drawing circles on it.  
"You've already watched it", Whizzer complained after a few minutes of watching the show in silence.  
"And I want to see it again", Marvin retorted. 

"Okay, fine", Whizzer said.  
"Fine", Marvin said, happy to have won this round. "Then let's keep watching."  
They both got really invested and watched the show for three or four hours without realizing. Time really did fly by.  
Whizzer would have checked his phone ten times that day at least. But he simply didn't wanna see any evidence of the Mendel Situation. He didn't want the real world to remind him how much of a shitty friend he had been just yet.  
"I'm getting hungry", Marvin said and got up from the couch.  
Whizzer watched Marvin walk over to the fridge, grabbing a few take out menus and bringing them to the couch table. After some thinking, Whizzer picked out a Chinese takeout menu. They decided to have a noodle box each with some spring rolls. Marvin ordered and then there was nothing to do but wait.  
By the time the doorbell rang a discourse had emerged. 

"Whizzer, I am not a BoJack", Marvin insisted with an eyeroll as he carried in all of the takeout.  
"Oh, but believe me. You are", Whizzer said, shaking his head. He laughed and smiled at him. Marvin put down the takeaway.  
"We've been consistently talking about how I am apparently a BoJack. Well, which character do you think you are?" Marvin crossed his arms and looked at Whizzer.  
"Well, obviously I am Diane", Whizzer pointed out. It was pretty obvious, wasn't it?  
"I know which character I think you are like, but that won't make sense until much later into the show", Marvin replied. "And you are definitely not a Diane."  
Whizzer opened up the noodle boxes and container with spring rolls.  
"I am not a Diane?", Whizzer asked.  
"Nope", Marvin said and sat down. "Anyway, let's eat."  
Marvin took the remote and resumed the episode they were watching. 

Whizzer scowled and pouted at Marvin for being left without an answer as he ate his food.  
Marvin looked over at him occasionally, an amused smile grazing his lips whenever he did so. That smile was so infuriatingly handsome. A few times of looking over and Marvin finally said something.  
"You know, that face may be cute, but you're not getting any of the episode", Marvin said with raised eyebrows.  
Whizzer huffed, rolled his eyes and turned to the TV. Okay, why had the Hollywood sign lost its D now? Whizzer closed his eyes, knowing he was about to admit defeat.  
"Um, Marvin?", he said quietly.  
"Yes, Whizzer?", Marvin asked.  
Whizzer could already hear the satisfied and victorious smile in Marvin's voice. He couldn't believe that he was about to say this. The worst part was that Marvin said it before he could.  
"Do you want me to restart the episode?", Marvin asked, happy as ever about being proven right. 

Whizzer closed his eyes in frustration and defeat and nodded, not even holding eye contact with Marvin.  
"Yeah", he admitted.  
Already knowing he was going to regret this, he looked over at Marvin. The latter just grinned at him.  
"So I was right", Marvin said.  
"Yeah, fine. You were. So what?" Whizzer turned back to the TV.  
"Well, that means you were wrong", Marvin continued.  
Marvin was having way too much fun with this. Couldn't he just drop it? This was getting a bit ridiculous.  
"You were right, I was wrong, please restart the episode", Whizzer replied and rolled his eyes. He took a frustrated bite of his delicious noodles.  
"Wow, you're taking this badly."  
Marvin chuckled and finally restarted the fucking episode. Whizzer rolled his eyed and kept watching.  
"You're welcome", Marvin said suddenly.  
Whizzer just shot him a sarcastic grin mixed with a glare. 

After having watched all of season one, they were both finished eating. Marvin left for a minute which gave Whizzer time to look at his phone for the first time that day.  
It was 4:45 pm already. How had he survived this long without looking at his phone? He had one missed call from Cordelia and a whole string of text messages from different people.  
There were the obligatory drunk texts from his favorite lesbian chef, of course. 

"Whree r uu???" - 0:35 am  
"Y sid u leave ans not tell meee" - 2:27 am  
"Be safw" - 2:31 am

Cordelia really was an angel on earth. Even when she was drunk out of her mind, she cared about his well being.  
Those were not the only text messaged he had gotten, though. He got one from Charlotte. 

"Good luck with Mendel" - 2:14 am 

So, Charlotte had figured it out. Whizzer didn't even care about people finding out at this point. He was more glad that Charlotte didn't resent him.  
Last, but definitely not least, there were a few texts from Mendel. 

"I can't believe you lied to me for months" - 00:10 am  
"I don't want to see you right now" - 00:11 am  
"It's for the best for the both of us if you stay away for a few nights" - 01:13 pm  
"Then maybe we can talk" - 01:14 pm  
"Not like you'd have trouble finding a place to stay for a few nights" - 01:15 pm

Whizzer deflated when he realized that all of his fears had been completely justified. Of course they had been. Ugh, that felt shitty.  
As if on cue Marvin came back with a bottle of red wine and two wine glasses from the kitchen. He was such a savior to Whizzer right that moment.  
He would have to ask for something. And, fuck did he hate having to ask for things. Whizzer put on a smile with the best innocent puppy eyes he could muster and looked up at Marvin.  
Marvin simply looked at him, raised an eyebrow and huffed a laugh.  
"What do you want?", he asked with an amused smile.  
"I still can't go back to my dorm." He smiled apologetically.  
Rather than saying anything Marvin just poured some wine for each of them. He handed one of the glasses to Whizzer.  
"Now, that is just terrible", he said with a mischievous smile.


	3. A Few Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whizzer moves in at Marvin's due to circumstance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter, in case you noticed that this fic was suddenly missing a chapter.   
Enjoy this version with less filler and more plot.

Whizzer woke up in Marvin's bed for the the third time in a row since the party. He had decided that staying away from his dorm room for at least a week would be the smartest decision he could make at that point in time. He hadn't been back at his dorm yet, which was a pain because classes had started again and he only had his one outfit from the party. Not to mention that he didn't have any of his material to study or complete assignments.   
Not to mention that his inability to go to his dorm led to Whizzer and Marvin basically living together. They were quite busy being all over one another. It was nice. If they weren't bickering or fighting, that is.   
"Good morning", Whizzer said, turning around to face Marvin.   
"Mmnn", Marvin replied, his face buried in his pillow. He was too lazy to lift his head up to not have his words muffled like the previous mornings. 

Whizzer ruffled his hair, smushing his face further into the pillow completely on purpose, which elicited a displeased grunt from Marvin. He lifted his head just about an inch.   
"You're a jerk", Marvin said in his grumpy morning tone before plummeting back onto his pillow.   
"Maybe", Whizzer admitted. "But I'm also making coffee."   
Lo and behold, Marvin actually sat up. His hair was disheveled from having slept the way he usually did. Not to mention that they had gotten pretty wild the night before. Whizzer wouldn't admit it, but Marvin looked cute as hell.   
"That's the least you can do for hogging my other half of the bed", Marvin quipped.   
Whizzer rolled his eyes as he grabbed a random one of Marvin's shirts that were lying around. 

He had realized that he couldn't keep wearing his own clothes, which forced him to wear some very questionable combinations over the past few days. He tried not to think about it.  
Luckily, Whizzer had successfully hand washed his clothes from the party. They were hung to dry in the bathroom, so he'd hopefully have something decent to wear again.   
"Don't complain too much. You'll miss my blowjobs soon enough", he retorted before making his way to the kitchen.   
"You're one crass bastard, you know that?" Marvin asked when Whizzer was already almost in the kitchen.   
"Actually, I do", Whizzer said with a thin smile while looking over his shoulders to see Marvin come up behind him.   
Once finished making coffee, Whizzer poured each of them a cup and they sat down on the living room couch to drink it. 

"Good coffee", Marvin said with a nod.   
"You're welcome", Whizzer replied. Marvin smiled at him sarcastically.   
They were only marginally driving one another fucking insane. It was fine. It wasn't like Whizzer had anywhere to go.   
They drank their coffee in silence.   
At some point when he had emptied his cup, Whizzer went to check if his clothes were dry yet. They were, likely due to being hung close to the radiator in Marvin's bathroom.   
Feeling irrationally grateful to the universe, Whizzer changed into his own clothes, finally satisfied with how he was dressed again.   
At some point during the past few days, he had asked Cordelia if she was up for coffee or a movie night. She agreed with both enthusiastically, so they'd just do both. Being only around Marvin for the most part was really taking its toll on Whizzer's mood. 

An afternoon and night with Cordelia was desperately needed. She was the only one who could help him stay sane at this point.   
"I'm going out", Whizzer told Marvin just after having grabbed his phone and wallet.   
"Getting sick of me, I assume? Because I feel the same", he quipped back at Whizzer. "Wait a second."  
Marvin got up and vanished somewhere. He emerged with a set of keys which he tossed for Whizzer to catch.   
"Those are the backup keys for this apartment, so don't lose them."   
Whizzer looked at Marvin and blinked after catching the keys like he had two heads. He had given Whizzer the keys to his apartment.   
"So I don't have to wait up for when you decide to come over again", he explained with exasperation. Whizzer nodded suspiciously, his gaze alternating between Marvin and the keys a few times. 

"Alright", he said. "Well, then... I'll see you whenever."   
"Good." Marvin nodded and went right back to what he was doing before. "Have fun."   
Whizzer stood there, feeling off kilter. Deciding that showing this would be a mistake, he outwardly kept his cool.  
"I will", he said and left.   
Twenty minutes of walking later Whizzer spotted the curly haired blonde in the distance, waiting in front of the cafe.   
"Hi!" She smiled at him as she walked towards him.   
"Hi...", he said. Whizzer's greeting almost resembled a sigh of relief.   
Cordelia hugged him tightly and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He already felt better just by having his best friend around him. She relaxed him to no end.   
After the hug Cordelia just looked at him with soft, compassionate eyes. She was obviously imagining how she may feel if she was in his situation. 

No matter what kind of bullshit Whizzer did, she would take his side. She was just one of those rare people who didn't judge others, unless and maybe even despite being given a good reason to be judgy.   
They exchanged pleasantries, Whizzer desperately trying to avoid talking about how he was feeling as much as possible.   
They decided to watch a romantic comedy and ice cream. While shopping they decided to get white wine and two pints of ice cream. One would have been too little anyways for their emotional needs.   
At Cordelia's apartment they sat down on her bed in front of her laptop, wrapped themselves into blankets in proper burrito fashion and put on the Black Mirror episode San Junipero. They watched it for no other reason than that it was gay as fuck, and thus their favorite episode.   
Whizzer already felt much better by the time the episode was over. Cordelia tackled Whizzer in a sudden hug, almost spilling their wine. 

"I love you, Whizzer. Never forget that", she said, slightly slurring her words.   
"I love you, too, Delia", he replied with a smile.   
"Everything will be fine. Mendel will forgive you."   
"You sure?", he asked her with a hint of a frown.   
"Mendel might be angry right now, but he will forgive you at some point", she repeated herself. "It's hard to hate you and you know that."   
"He is right to hate me." Whizzer sighed and took a sip of his wine. He had caused Trina hurt. Trina. That was the ultimate betrayal towards Mendel.  
"Even while Trina was angry drunk, she never said that it was you. She isn't even too mad at you", Cordelia slurred slightly. "You're not responsible for Marvin's actions and Mendel will see that soon enough."   
Whizzer shook his head. "I don't know."

He really couldn't blame Mendel for whatever emotion he fel towards him.   
"He doesn't hate you. And he'll forgive you soon enough", she put a hand on Whizzer's shoulder.   
She got up and walked to a shelf with loads of DVDs. She sat back down next to Whizzer, putting on one of his favorite romantic comedies, 10 Year Plan.   
Whizzer had a blast spending time with his Cordelia. He stayed over and got coffee with her the next morning before they parted ways.   
"Good luck with Mendel", she had said. And, oh boy, he was going to need all the luck he could get. A day after staying over at Cordelia's Whizzer finally gathered the courage to ask Mendel to talk to him. Surprisingly enough, Mendel actually replied. 

"I have time around 3. Let's meet at my dorm" - Mendel 11:26 am  
His dorm? Wow. 

"3 it is then" - 11:32 am 

After going to his classes for the day, he went on his usual way home. It felt familiar, yet strange. He was in his dorm building for the first time since the New Year's party and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into his own bed and wear his own clothes again.   
His step was heavy and slow as he made his way up the staircase. He knew what awaited him. He just knew. Anxiety rose in his gut when he reached the level his dorm room was on. His feet dragged across the hallway to his door.   
Whizzer swallowed. He dragged a hand through his sparingly styled hair. His hand trembled. He knocked and the door opened much faster than he thought.   
Mendel stood there and crossed his arms. There was a ice in his glare. Whizzer blinked in surprise. 

"Hi, Whizzer", he said curtly.   
"Hi", Whizzer replied.   
"Come in", Mendel said.  
But then the moment Whizzer began moving to enter, Mendel put a hand on his shoulder.   
"Actually, I'd prefer it if you don't." Mendel's stretched out hand was shaking.  
"Mendel, please let's talk about this", Whizzer begged. Mendel shook his head.   
"No."   
"We're friends", Whizzer replied. "Friends talk about things."   
"I thought that, too", Mendel said.   
"Come on, please at least let my try to explain."   
"You can come here when you need to get your stuff. While I'm in class. I'll send you my schedule, okay?"   
Whizzer looked at Mendel. Mendel's eyes were wide. His jaw was clenched. His bottom lip was quivering slightly. Whizzer didn't know what to say.  
"Thanks for coming by", he said before he shut the door. 

Whizzer was left to stare at the door. He lifted his hand to knock again. But he halted for a second. He took a deep breath. He was not losing a friend over something like this. He knocked on the door.   
"Mendel, talk to me", he begged through the door. He knocked again.   
"Go. Away."   
"Come on, please."   
Whizzer let his hand drop to his side. He took a deep breath and knocked one last time. Maybe this would work? He hoped this would work.   
"Please?", he asked. "I'll get you whatever coffee you like if you'll talk to me?"   
He didn't get a response. Whizzer let out a sigh and his shoulder's dropped. He took one last look at his dorm room door and turned to leave. Whizzer put his hands in his pockets and left. Halfway at the end of the hallway, he heard a door open.   
"Hey! You owe me a coffee", he heard Mendel shout. A small and hopeful smile spread across Whizzer's face.


	4. Hard To Say Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whizzer talks to Mendel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited and uploaded chapter 3, so I'd really recommend that you read it again before reading this chapter.  
Enjoy!

They sat in the cafe, the one and only, where Mendel had taken Whizzer to meet his friends. That was less than half a year ago now, but felt like it happened in a different lifetime. Mendel ordered the most obscenely expensive coffee at that cafe. It was obviously not because he wanted it, but simply to make a point. Whizzer absolutely respected that choice and didn't comment on or joke about it.  
Mendel was sitting there with his arms crossed, looking expectantly at Whizzer.  
"You wanted to talk", he said. "I'm listening."  
Whizzer took a small sip of his coffee. He nodded and sighed, preparing himself to talk and maybe get Mendel to hate him a little less.  
"Alright."  
Whizzer thought for a moment. Where should he begin? He looked down at the table, considering all of the ways he could start his explanation. He opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, unable to find a place to start.

"When did it start?", Mendel asked.  
"Remember that party where Charlotte met Cordelia? I invited Charlotte, knowing Cordelia would be there because I wanted to hook them up. It worked, obviously. But they weren't the only ones...", he trailed off and took a sip of his coffee.  
"Okay", Mendel said quietly with a nod. He tilted his head and his eyes took on a different expression. "Why?"  
Whizzer breathed out, staring ahead. He had to be honest.  
"I don't know. I don't remember. I just... woke up at his place. In his bed, the next morning", he explained.  
Mendel took a sip of his own coffee.  
"Nothing before that?", he asked.  
"Actually... there is", he said with an apologetic expression. "I'll explain."  
Whizzer told him about the night his parents disowned him, that he met Marvin that night. 

He told him about the hoodie and how he had been screwing with Marvin by not giving it back to him. That led to the night where Whizzer did want to give it back to him but mixed it up with one of Mendel's instead. He explained how he had been looking for the actual hoodie and handing it to Marvin.  
"So you gave him the hoodie. And then he just... kissed you?", Mendel asked. He was clenching his jaw again. Whizzer nodded.  
"Were you planning on sleeping with Marvin at that party?", Mendel asked simply.  
"No." Whizzer answered within the fraction of a second. "No, I didn't. We were planning on acting like nothing ever happened." He huffed a laugh and shrugged with a pained smile.  
"And then you woke up in...", Mendel trailed off.  
"Yeah." Whizzer swallowed hard. 

They sat there for a moment, looking at eachother. Whizzer looked away and sipped at his coffee again.  
"When Trina came by that night", he began. "When you were bringing her home, I called him. I ended it."  
Mendel just nodded for him to continue.  
"But then at Cordelia's party, Marvin followed me into the kitchen. For some reason, I don't really know why, and we kissed", he explained. "Ever since that first kiss, nothing was supposed to happen, but... it just kept happening."  
He took a breath and sighed.  
"After he ran into us at the cafe, after I left, he begged me to talk about everything. I knew it was a bad idea, but i agreed anyways. We started up again that night. That's the thing to take away from this, apparently. I make stupid decisions." 

And, god, had it felt good to start things again with Marvin. He didn't want to tell Mendel that, though. Mendel already thought of him as selfish, so that would only exacerbate the whole thing.  
"Alright." Mendel nodded again.  
Mendel looked down at the table, not saying anything. Whizzer looked at him, trying to see what was going through his mind. Mendel didn't give any hint of what he was thinking about it all, though.  
Feeling awkward, Whizzer took sip after sip of his coffee, hoping he could avoid any awkward silence.  
Mendel suddenly looked up at him with a serious expression. He looked like he was trying to say something, or wrestling with a thought, or something like that?  
They sat in silence for a moment and it took Whizzer a while before he knew what to say. 

"I'm sorry for lying to you", Whizzer said finally.  
"You should be", Mendel replied.  
It hit Whizzer like a punch to the gut. He was really just grateful that Mendel had taken the time to hear him out in the first place.  
"I know apologizing won't fix anything. And I know things can't go back to the way they were. That's what I was afraid of in the first place."  
"You're right about that", Mendel said and nodded. "Things can't go back to normal."  
Whizzer sipped at his coffee and Mendel drank his. Whizzer swallowed hard. He had nothing left to say.  
"Thanks for hearing me out", Whizzer said with a weak smile. "You're a much better friend than I deserve."  
Mendel didn't reply. He just sat there, continuously drinking his overpriced coffee. 

"I want to ask you something", he began. "And I want you to answer honestly."  
What could Mendel be talking about? Whizzer furrowed his brow and nodded.  
"Um, sure. Ask away", he said.  
Mendel breathed in and out, dragging out the question to an excruciatingly slow pace.  
"Whizzer, are you in love with Marvin?"  
What?  
"What?" Whizzer just stared at Mendel. Why was he asking a question like that? Whizzer wanted to grab his cup but instead knocked it over, spilling coffee everywhere.  
"Shit", he hissed. He stood up immediately to avoid his pants getting ruined. Mendel grabbed some paper napkins and started soaking up the coffee. Their waiter wiped the table and after a short moment of chaos Whizzer and Mendel sat at the table again.  
"So?", Mendel asked.  
"So what?" Whizzer really hoped he could deflect and leave this question behind.  
"I won't let this go until I get an answer", Mendel replied. 

"Are you in love with Marvin?"  
Was Whizzer in love with Marvin? He didn't think so. He couldn't be in love with someone like Marvin. Marvin was insufferable. He had this awfully annoying smile when he did something nice. He was an asshole, that was for sure. And he did nice things, expecting love in return. He did obnoxious things like dressing just like Whizzer and looking adorably stupid. And if that wasn't enough, he had those soft moments that made something inside Whizzer hurt in a way that was just...  
Fuck. Whizzer had become a romcom cliche.  
"I think I might be", he admitted. Mendel nodded.  
"Thank you for being honest about everything", he said. "I appreciate that."  
Whizzer watched as Mendel stood up and grabbed his jacket. He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it.  
"As I said, I will send you my schedule. So we won't run into one another."  
Whizzer looked at his coffee and nodded. "Yeah. Sounds good."  
He closed his eyes, trying to steady himself as he listened to Mendel's steps as he walked away. 

Talking to Mendel had gone just about as well as Whizzer had expected it to. Not like he didn't deserve it. It did make him feel like shit, though. Actually, Whizzer had been relieved by Mendel's demeanor. He was grateful that Mendel had decided to hear him out in spite of everything.  
What left Whizzer restless, though was the forced realization of his being in love with Marvin. How had he let himself get this attached to Marvin? And worse, why didn't it matter to him anymore? He'd just have to accept the fact that he at least liked Marvin. Even if he didn't want to.  
He went to the classes he had to go to that day, but barely managed to focus.  
Whizzer ended up spending most of class scribbling ideas for really cool shots, planning artsy lighting and angles of the things he was considering taking photos of. 

After class he headed straight to Marvin's place, which would apparently be his home for the time being. He couldn't wait to crash into bed, or onto the couch, or watch something stupid with Marvin, if he was in a good enough mood, that is. Finally back, he opened the front door and walked inside.  
"I'm back", he announced himself. Was it politeness or habit? He couldn't quite tell. He hung his jacket on one of the hooks next to the door. That's where he left his bag, too. He got himself a glass of water and sat down on the couch.  
Strange. The door wasn't locked, so Marvin should be in. And usually he called something or other out to Whizzer when either of them came back. This made Whizzer worried. He got up from the couch, feeling a strange sense of apprehension. 

"Marvin?", he asked, walking around the apartment slowly. He decided to look in the bedroom first.  
"Marvin?", he asked again as he opened the door slowly. He heard a tiny gasp and the creaking of the bed frame.  
"Oh hey, Whizzer", he heard Marvin say in a heavy voice. Whizzer came in to see Marvin quickly turning away from the doorway.  
"How was it with Cordelia?", Marvin asked, his back still turned to Whizzer.  
"We... had a good time?", Whizzer replied in a confused tone. "How are you, though?"  
Marvin huffed out a laugh. "I'm just tired", he said. "I slept till just now and I look like a mess. I'll be with you in a minute."  
"Marvin, what's wrong?", Whizzer asked.  
"I'm fine. Really", Marvin said.  
Whizzer put a hand on Marvin's shoulder. The shorter man whipped around. He glared at Whizzer. His nose was red and his eyes were bloodshot. "I said I'm fine." 

Whizzer was lying in his twin size bed, crying as his dad shouted at his mom.  
"Dammit, Gwen. Stop asking if I'm fine!" 

Whizzer pulled his hand back quickly. It was like he had burned his hand on Margins temper. Whizzer tightened his jaw.  
"Fine", he said. He took a breath before turning around and leaving the bedroom. Whizzer desperately wanted to smash his drinking glass to the ground. Somehow he managed to restrain himself.  
Instead, he emptied it and filled it up again. He hoped, it would calm him down. It did, but barely.  
Filled with a box of different emotions, he sat down on the couch and put on the recording of Legally Blonde.  
Marvin had made him watch it with him a few times since the first time. At this point he was kind of in love with it, he knew it would help him feel better. Not to mention that it just might make Marvin feel better, too.  
After the first song, the grumpy bastard emerged from the bedroom. Whizzer didn't acknowledge him. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder and his eyes widened slightly at the unexpected physical contact. 

"I'm sorry", he told Whizzer's mother as he kissed her. Whizzer watched from the doorway and disappeared before they could notice him. 

"I'm getting myself a beer. Do you want some wine?", he asked Whizzer. Whizzer nodded.  
"Yeah, wine's great. Red, please", he told Marvin without looking at him.  
He could have been paying attention to the musical, but instead he listened intently to the sounds from the hallway and kitchen.  
The fridge door opened with a squeak and bottles clattered against one another. What Whizzer could only assume to be a beer bottle hissed when it was opened. The cork of a wine bottle squeaked just a bit later.  
A moment after that Marvin set a glass of red wine down in front of him.  
"Thanks", he said without looking at Marvin and took a sip.  
"You're welcome", Marvin said and sat down next to him, putting a hand on Whizzer's thigh. Whizzer didn't react.


	5. Lean On Me And Crush Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marvin and Whizzer never talk about things. Why should they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just Marvin and Whizzer being emotionally constipated bastards. 
> 
> Enjoy!

They watched together in heavy silence, neither humming along to any of the songs despite the fact that even Whizzer knew the melodies very well by now. They were about five or six songs in when Marvin paused the recording. Whizzer kept looking ahead.   
"Whizzer?", Marvin asked. Whizzer blinked. "Whizzer." 

"I just shouldn't react", his mom told him with a weak smile. "He usually tires himself out at some point." 

"Whizzer, look at me, damn it", he said louder than necessary.   
Whizzer flinched. His gaze flew over to Marvin as his head turned quickly.   
"What?", he asked curtly, eyes cold, his jaw tight to try and stay calmer than the way he felt. "What, Marvin? What is it?"   
Marvin blinked a few times and didn't respond.   
Once Whizzer started talking, he had a hard time stopping. The pent up emotion just burst out of him.   
"I had a really rough fucking day, alright?" He stood up, putting distance between himself and Marvin. Be smart.   
Marvin just stared at him. He was starting to turn red in the face. Whizzer felt adrenaline rushing in his veins as he kept talking. 

"Whatever daddy issues you have, don't put them out on me", he spat. "I'm having a tough enough fucking time by myself because Marvin the saint couldnt keep it in his pants."  
"Oh now everything is my fault?", Marvin asked. He stood up, clearly getting angry. "You didn't seem to care about Mendel's or any one else's emotions as long as I was fucking you senseless. You don't care about anyone unless you get something out of it."  
"Don't act like you know me", Whizzer spewed his venom. "You're just a little boy who's scared to upset mommy and daddy. Because no matter how much you act like it, you still hate yourself for being as much of a queer as me."  
Marvin stepped towards him. "At least my parents still want me to be a part of my life. At least I care enough not to jeopardize my relationship with them over something like that." 

Whizzer felt the air be knocked out of his lungs. He barely noticed himself stumbling backwards until his back hit a wall. He felt his eyes become watery as he slid down the wall in defeat. He hated how much of a mess he was. He hated himself for how vulnerable he had made himself to Marvin.   
From his sitting position, he kept his eyes on Marvin, trying to gauge if there were any more blows coming. Marvin had now gone white as a sheet. All tension seemed to leave his body as his shoulders dropped and his arms dangled loosely.   
They just looked at one another, neither saying anything, it was an excruciating silence. Marvin stood up slowly, walked over to Whizzer and sat down with his back to the wall next to him, still not saying anything. Whizzer breathed out and the last bit of strength and self restraint left his body. He was exhausted. 

Almost instinctively, he let himself sink against Marvin's side. Whizzer felt Marvin put a trembling hand on his and intertwine them. Marvin squeezed his hand.   
"Must have been a really rough day if you're this soft", he quipped awkwardly.   
"Hey", Whizzer replied and elbowed his side.   
Still, it made him smile the smallest bit. They sat like that for a bit, neither saying a thing once again. Then Whizzer sat himself up, turning to look at Marvin.   
"I think we might want to continue watching the recording", Marvin said. "Don't want the booze to go bad."   
Marvin got up, holding out a hand to help Whizzer up. Whizzer took his hand and hoisted himself back up. They sat down on the couch together and continued watching the Legally Blonde recording. 

Whizzer sipped at his wine and Marvin drank his beer. Marvin put his arm around Whizzer and he leaned his head against him in return. Slowly they got closer and closer. Whizzer's hand on Marvin's thigh, Marvin's hand turning Whizzers chin, Whizzer's hand on Marvin's chest, Marvin's hand in Whizzer's hair. One kiss, then another.   
Before the show had even reached the iconic Gay Or European song, they had paused the movie again. The two were lying horizontally on the couch basically engaging in a glorified version of dry humping. Whizzer was clinging to Marvin's hoodie, balling up the fabric in his fists as he tried to pull their bodies closer together, moaning over and over again. 

"God, the things you do to me", Marvin purred into Whizzers ear, making him gasp.   
"As if you don't like this", he quipped breathlessly.   
Whizzer was straddled by Marvin, who pushed him onto his back before he began unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time. Once every button of his shirt was undone, he felt Marvin begin kissing along his collarbones and up the sides of his neck, which made him gasp yet again.   
"You're one desperate son of a bitch, aren't you?", Marvin whispered into Whizzer's with an audible cocky grin. Whizzer moaned involuntarily before glaring at Marvin, trying to conceal his reaction.   
"Fuck you", he spat.   
"No, fuck you", Marvin said with raised eyebrows and an innocent smile as he rolled his hips against Whizzers, making him moan yet again. 

"God, you're such a jackass", Whizzer gasped and rolled his eyes.   
Instead of receiving a reply, Whizzer felt Marving threading his hands into his hair and pulling, rather hard. When he opened his mouth to gasp and moan, his sounds were swallowed by Marvin, kissing him deeply.   
Their movements became more and more frantic as they began tearing each other's clothes off. Gasps and moans filled the silence in between grunts and curses. Not too long afterwards they resumed their attempt at trying to watch the recording and laid on the couch in silence. Marvin was in a half sitting position up against a pillow, Whizzer leaning against his chest. Whizzer was wrapped in Marvin's arms and let out a contented sigh. 

The recording was long over, but Whizzer hadn't cared to move. Neither had Marvin, obviously. Marvin wrapped his arms more tightly around him more tightly.   
He felt a kiss on the top of his head and flinched at the unexpected show of affection from Marvin.   
"I... don't feel... great most of the time", Marvin said suddenly. "And usually when I'm alone."   
Well, that much was plain and obvious. Not like Whizzer wouldn't have been able to guess that. He was relieved, though, that Marvin was talking.   
Whizzer just hummed in recognition. He didn't want to interrupt Marvin. It was nice to finally hear what had been going on with him today. He began moving his hand up and down Marvin's forearm lightly. 

"Whenever that happens I... I fuck up", Marvin said. "I blow up at whoever is around."   
Whizzer hummed again to reassure Marvin that he was still listening, still caressing Marvin's forearm in a soothing motion.   
"And", he added after a long pause. "You got to witness that firsthand."   
"Guess I did", Whizzer replied quietly.   
He waited for Marvin to continue. He waited for Marvin to say something more, but he didn't. Marvin stayed quiet and Whizzer chose not to comment on it.   
With this being as close to an apology as he would get from Marvin, Whizzer turned around and put his head on Marvin's chest. The other chuckled and began carding his hands through Whizzer's hair. He slowly and unintentionally drifted off to sleep. 

Whizzer woke up as he felt Marvin wiggle out from underneath him. It felt way too early, that was for sure. Whizzer put his hand on Marvin's chest, trying to keep him there.   
"Come on. Stay. You're comfortable", whined. Marvin chuckled.   
"I'd love to, but I need to use the bathroom", he replied to a pouting Whizzer. He ruffled Whizzer's hair, causing him to make a displeased whining sound.   
"My hair is already messed up enough as it is", Whizzer complained, too drowsy to genuinely care. He propped himself up on his forearms to pout some more at Marvin. Oh, had they fallen asleep on the couch?  
"I'll be right back", Marvin said and winked. 

Whizzer flopped back onto the couch, lying on his back with his arms crossed. He was still pouting in the hopes that Marvin would materialize under him so he could sleep for a bit longer. Or maybe even just lay there with him? He didn't like feeling this attached, but it felt to good to actually bother him.   
He thought back to the night before, remembering how turbulent all of that had been. Could you call the calm after their respective outbursts making up? No, that definitely sounded too much like they were in a relationship. Whatever it was, it had been nice.   
It had been really nice of Marvin to finally tell him something remotely related to how he was feeling. It was reassuring in a way to know that Marvin trusted him. It made Whizzer feel secure.   
Secure? Secure about what? Oh no, Whizzer Brown. 

You may like Marvin, may even be in love with him. But this was never going to be anything more than this. Be smart.   
Before he had the chance to continue his self chastising, he heard the bathroom door open. Right, Marvin had gone to the bathroom. Whizzer realized that Marvin had taken much longer than necessary.   
Without even remotely making a move to sit up, Whizzer replied, staring at the ceiling.  
"Hi there, did you go to Narnia for a bit? You do seem to have an affinity for closets", he said with an amused grin.   
A pillow hit Whizzer in the face, followed by Marvin stifling his laughter. Whizzer leaned on his elbows again, the pillow falling down his body as he did so.   
"Very funny, Marv. Very funny", he said and trailed off. Marvin was wearing glasses, wire framed glasses, and didn't even look half bad. Quite the opposite.   
"It actually was hilarious", Marvin replied with a mischievous grin. 

Whizzer blinked at him for a second or more.   
The glasses were confusing to Whizzer on multiple levels. On one hand there was the fact that Marvin was wearing glasses. Very old fashioned glasses. Then there was also the fact that he looked even hotter with his glasses. Whizzer sat up completely now, looking or staring right at Marvin. How had he not realized that Marvin wore glasses?   
"Are you alright?", Marvin asked with a furrowed brow. He slowly stepped closer to Whizzer, waving his hand to make him snap out of it.   
Whizzer simply nodded. "Yeah", he said.   
A smirk spread across his face. Marvin began looking slightly more confused.   
"What is it?", he asked.   
"Oh, nothing", Whizzer said with a bright grin. Marvin seemed to legitimately not know what the hell Whizzer was on about. 

"Don't be a dick", Marvin said with an eyeroll.   
"Why, I was not aware that I was housing with the acclaimed professor Marvin", he said in an obnoxiously pretentious manner.   
Marvin stared blankly for a moment before his hand slowly moved to touch his face, meeting the frames of his glasses instead. He closed his eyes, muttering something under his breath. The annoyed and embarrassed man took off the glasses.   
"Oh, fuck off", he said.   
"Wait", Whizzer said and got up, walking towards the man and smiling at him. "It's kinda hot."   
Marvin's eyebrows flew up as a sly grin spread across his lips. He instantly had his glasses back on.   
"Oh yeah?", Marvin asked, still grinning as he balled up the shirt Whizzer had borrowed from him, pulling him closer.   
"Yeah", Whizzer replied with a suggestive hint of a smile, placing his hands on Marvin's back and shoulder blades. 

"Really?", Marvin asked, threading his other hand into Whizzer's hair. Whizzer nodded.   
"Good to know", Marvin said with a suddenly way too innocent smile. He immediately stepped away from a flustered Whizzer. Marvin winked at him and left for the couch like the sly bastard he was. Whizzer couldn't help but smirk the tiniest bit.   
"Mind making us some coffee?", Marvin shouted from presumably the living room.   
"Yeah, yeah", Whizzer shouted back and rolled his eyes, still smirking. "You only did that to get me to make coffee, didn't you?"   
"Yup", Marvin replied loudly from the living room.   
Whizzer joined Marvin on the couch and they drank their coffee. He couldn't help continuously staring at Marvin and feeling the faintest touch of embarrassment when Marvin caught him looking. Not too long after finishing their coffee and brushing their teeth, the two horndogs were at it yet again. Marvin had just completed another successful hickey when the doorbell rang. Marvin froze.   
"Shit. That's gotta be Jason."


	6. Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason has arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy my characterization of Jason. 
> 
> Have fun!

Whizzer blinked "What?" Jason was coming over to Marvin's?  
"He comes over every other weekend, remember? I didn't exactly expect anyone to move in here, especially not you", Marvin spat. He hopped into a pair of jeans, trying his hardest not to fall over. He buzzed Jason in while Whizzer just stood there, still not quite grasping the situation.   
"You need to leave", he told Whizzer.   
Whizzer barked a laugh. "Wearing this?" He motioned at his outfit, consisting of a faded graphic tshirt and too short sweatpants. "I don't think so, honey."   
"How am I supposed to explain you being here?" Marvin was walking around, frantically looking for a shirt or hoodie to wear and hopefully cover at least some of the hickeys from last night's activities.   
"I don't fucking know. Tell him I'm staying here because my roommate is mad at me and you're being a good person by letting me stay with you?" 

What the hell? Was Marvin expecting Whizzer to come up with some genius lie to fool his brother? They had barely managed to keep their affair a secret.   
"You think he's genuinely going to believe that?", Marvin asked, arms crossed. He seemed to forget the urgency of the moment for the fraction of a second. Then he went back into motion.   
"Could you at least wear something that's not so obviously mine?", Marvin spat. Whizzer lifted his hands. "My family doesn't know about me and Trina yet, so please just try to look like we  
"I'll see what I can do, alright? Not like I'm a big fan of wearing this stuff", he muttered defensively.   
Whizzer was rushed into Marvin's bedroom and heard the door slamming shut behind him. With the sound of the door shutting the sting of rejection set in. 

Why the fuck did this hurt? This was just Marvin being Marvin. It was whatever. He had to get over himself. After taking a deep breath, he went into the man's closet.   
He surprisingly enough found a pretty nice black polo shirt and a pair of dark washed jeans that actually fit him for the most part. It was the best he could get. He'd have to settle for this. Feeling strangely apprehensive Whizzer exited the bedroom and walked into the living room.   
"Oh, hi", the high pitched voice of Marvin's little brother said. Whizzer looked and found his head halfway peaking over the back of the couch.   
"Hi", Whizzer said with awkward politeness and a smile to match. How did you look at someone in a way that didnt say 'hey so I've been your brother's side piece and fucking him for months until he broke up with his girlfriend for me'? 

"I remember you", Jason said. "You were looking for something you forgot here."   
So at least he didn't think he was a burglar with a mediocre sense of fashion.   
"Yeah", he said. "Your name is Jason, right?"   
Jason nodded. "Whizzer, right?"   
Whizzer nodded. "Where's your brother?", he asked.   
"Oh, he's in the bathroom putting in his contacts", the kid said. He turned around and leaned back of the couch, resting his chin on his forearms. "Why are you here?"  
Whizzer stared for a second. What a blunt kid.   
"Well, I'm having trouble with my roommate. And Marvin let me stay the night so my roommate can calm down a bit", he lied.   
"Why is he mad at you?", Jason asked. "What did you do?" 

Whizzer blinked, really taken aback by this kids directness. So Marvin's behavior was in fact genetic. Only that it was a lot more endearing on a child than on a bitter student in his mid twenties.   
"Jason, you don't ask people that stuff. Especially if you don't know them", Marvin interjected in an offhandedly bored manner. He was a surprisingly good liar in front of his brother.   
"But I know him. We know each other's names", Jason told Marvin with a wide innocent grin. Whizzer had to suppress his smirk.   
"We were gonna play playstation all day", Jason said to Whizzer. "Do you want to, too?"   
Marvin gave Jason a look which made Whizzer cross his arms, feeling just a tad offended. Alright, if Marvin didn't want him to stay then he wouldn't.   
"Nah, I was just leaving", he lied. He turned to Marvin. "I'm gonna grab my stuff and get out of your hair." 

Whizzer walked to the bedroom to grab the keys and his phone and took a look at the screen. Mendel had sent him his schedule. It was the weekend, so obviously he wasn't going to be out and about. It was Mendel after all and Mendel always studied on weekends. Shit. He'd have to find something, or someone, to do. Whizzer could go to a cafe, sit down and swipe until a decent screw appeared on his screen.   
He heard Marvin get agitated but decided not to care. Whizzer exited the bedroom and went to leave the apartment and get fucked. But then Marvin stopped him.   
"Whizzer, wait", he said loudly. Whizzer halted when he felt a hand on his shoulder.   
"I have a thing. And I forgot that Jason would stay the night today. I thought that was next week. I'll only be gone for a few hours", he said.   
"Would you mind-"   
"Would I mind babysitting your brother, is that what you're asking?", Whizzer asked to confirm. 

"I'm not a baby!", Jason shouted from the couch.   
"I never said that" Marvin shouted back over his shoulder before turning to Whizzer.   
"But yeah", he confirmed and gave Whizzer a significant look. "Please?"  
Whizzer took a breath and closed his eyes. This meant a lot to Marvin, Whizzer was aware of that. Fucking Marvin. He sighed and opened his eyes.   
"A few hours. At most", Whizzer hissed. Marvin gasped in relief.   
"Good. Two hours at most", he said.   
"Be quick", Whizzer said with a stern nod.   
"Alright, Jason. I need to go somewhere, but I'll be back in a few hours. Whizzer here will-"   
"So you're pawning me off on one of your friends already?", Jason asked, obviously pissed. What a temper. 

"Jason, you know that that's not-"   
"It's fine. Go, if you have to", Jason spat. "Not like I'll be going anywhere."   
These intense moods were apparently also genetic. Good to know. Whizzer just bit his tongue and resisted the temptation to make a snide comment. This was already awkward enough.   
"Come on, buddy. Just-"   
"I said it's fine. Go", the kid said coldly.   
Marvin pinched the bridge of his nose. If he had put on his glasses he just might have looked like a father arguing with his son. It was quite the picture indeed.   
"I can get some food on the way back. Do you want anything?", Marvin offered with a pained smile.   
"Nope", his little brother replied. 

"Are you sure?" Marvin raised his eyebrows.  
"Yup", the kid said, already turning on the playstation.   
"Bye then", Marvin said awkwardly. Jesus, this was painful to watch.   
"Bye", Jason muttered distractedly.   
Whizzer watched as Marvin slowly walked to the apartment door, clearly expecting Jason to say something only to be sorely disappointed. He gave his brother one last look and left.   
Once the door closed Jason flopped onto his back and groaned in annoyance.   
"He always does this", he whined.   
He suddenly sat up and looked intently at Whizzer. "Okay, so why are you here?"   
Whizzer swallowed for a moment, unsure how to satisfy the curiosity of this obviously smart kid with a good enough lie. 

"I'm here because your brother let me stay here because my dormmate threw me out", he said, not choosing to elaborate.   
"Huh", Jason said. The kid was playing interrogation and he was enjoying it just a little bit too much.   
"Wanna sit?", he asked. Whizzer nodded and complied.   
"Is Marvin like this to you, too?" He looked up at Whizzer with an expression that pulled at his heartstrings. In response Whizzer pulled up one corner of his mouth in a half smile and gave a noncommittal shrug.   
"He's definitely not easy to be around", Whizzer replied.   
"You can say that again", Jason said with a pout and crossed his arms. 

Whizzer didn't say anything, mostly because he didn't know what he could possibly say to this poor kid. He noticed that Jason began sniffling and a tear began rolling down Jason's cheek, which the kid quickly wiped away, suddenly looking very embarrassed. He sniffed one last time before looking at Whizzer meaningfully. Whizzer nodded. This would stay between just the two of them.   
Jason sat up and put one of the playstation controllers onto Whizzer's lap.   
"Can we play together?", he asked. Whizzer blinked in surprise.   
"Yeah, um, sure", he said and smiled at the kid, still taken off guard.   
They played the game Whizzer had absolutely no idea about. He also played like he had absolutely no fucking clue. Not like he'd ever gotten all that much practice with video games. Most games had never been particularly interesting to Whizzer. 

Very quickly Jason had beat him and jumped up to stand on the couch and did a victory dance. The lanky eleven year old looked so adorable and ridiculous, Whizzer couldn't stop himself from laughing.   
"I won!", he said enthusiastically. "Take that!"   
"You beat the hell out of me, I do have to admit", Whizzer said with a smile, his hands lifted in defeat.   
Jason plopped back down to sit on the couch and turned to Whizzer.   
"I'm hungry. Can we get something to eat?", the kid asked with huge puppy dog eyes. Whizzer nodded.   
"Yeah, sure", he said. "And since you're the winner, you get to choose what were gonna eat." 

Jason threw his fist into the air. "Pizza!"   
Whizzer nodded once and stood up.   
"Pizza it is", he said.  
The two got dressed and went to the next pizza shop and got themselves a big slice each. They sat down on the curb and Jason immediately started devouring the pizza slice. He must have been lying to Marvin about being hungry.   
"Pizza is so good", the kid said, his eyes shining with excitement as he ate the pizza. "Pizza is always good."   
Whizzer raised an eyebrow. "Even bad pizza?"   
"Bad pizza is still pizza", Jason reiterated, looking offended that he had to point out something apparently so obvious.   
"You do have a point there", Whizzer said with a thoughtful nod. Jason grinned, apparently satisfied with himself.   
"Of course I do." So the cockiness was also a genetic trait.   
They took their time finishing their pizzas. Whizzer got up and looked at his phone. The two hours were pretty much over. 

"Okay, Jason, we'd better head back", he said. "We don't want to get in trouble with the high and mighty Marvin." Jason groaned and rolled his eyes melodramatically, and Whizzer couldn't hide his smile even if he tried.   
"Fiiine", Jason said with an astounding lack of enthusiasm as he slowly dragged himself into a standing position. "Let's go back, I guess."   
And so they walked back to the apartment.   
They got back and to Whizzer's relief Marvin was still not back.   
"Can we play another round?", Jason asked him with a toothy grin. "Please?"   
"Yeah, sure", he said.   
"Can you not tell Marvin about the pizza?", Jason asked. Whizzer smiled and nodded at the kid.   
"You're pretty cool for an eleven year old, Jason", he said.   
"And you're pretty nice for being friends with my brother", Jason replied.


	7. Against Better Judgement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's valentine's day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

The rest of the time Jason was at Marvin's, Whizzer made himself scarce. He was obviously not wanted there by Marvin. The following nights he went to one of his regular bars and got picked up by some decently attractive guys, whose names he could barely remember even while screwing them. Over the next week Whizzer finally had the chance to get a bulk of his stuff from his dorm. Finally wearing his own clothes Whizzer felt like himself again.   
Time went by and soon enough there were red and pink hearts everywhere, like in the cafe everyone was sitting in. Nothing had quite changed in regards to the fill of conflicts amongst the six. It was pretty fucking awkward.   
"So apparently they are selling heart shaped pastries", Cordelia offered with a painful amount of forced excitement.   
"Oh, that's nice. Fits the holiday", Trina said and nodded. Mendel took her hand and smiled at her, nodding along with her. 

Trina and Mendel had been a couple for almost a month, so of course he had asked her to be his valentine. The curly haired student had been grinning at her or in her direction pretty much the entire time at the cafe. As long as he didnt acknowledge Marvin or Whizzer, of course.   
"Valentine's isn't a holiday, though", Whizzer interjected, sounding prettier than intended. All those pink hearts, roses and other Valentine's cliches put Whizzer in a mood. Cordelia fondly rolled her eyes at him.   
"Oh, there he goes again", she said with a slightly exasperated smile. "Sooner or later your heart will grow three sizes bigger and you'll stop being like this around Valentine's Day."   
Marvin, who had been sulking in his seat next to Whizzer ever since Trina and Mendel came in, perked up suddenly. 

"Being like what around Valentine's Day?", Marvin asked incredulously. He gave Whizzer a look, which he didn't know how to read.   
"She calls me the Grinch of Valentine's Day", he explained.   
Whizzer looked Cordelia very intentionally as he continued. "And just because I don't see a reason why commercializing something like affection to your partner is so popular."   
"What's wrong with showing a little extra affection on a day like Valentine's day?", Marvin asked incredulously. He was giving Whizzer that analytical expression he only had when something about Whizzer didn't make sense to him.   
"Because you are the type to show extra affection on Valentine's Day?", Trina interjected and crossed her arms. "Where was I when that happened?"   
Marvin huffed and turned to his ex girlfriend with a sarcastic smile. 

"You were probably busy spending time with this one here", he pointed at Mendel.   
Mendel stood up, leaning downwards to Marvin and swatted his hand away.   
"At least I wasn't busy fucking someone else", he retorted with a cold glare and nodded towards Whizzer. That stung.   
Marvin put a hand on Whizzer's shoulder before he rose up from his chair, mirroring Mendel and glaring back at him.   
"At least I could get someone to touch me who wasn't my right hand", Marvin spat back.   
"Marvin", Trina hissed and glared at her ex.   
"Alright, everyone. Settle down", Charlotte said. "You two are my friends and I want to be able to spend time with you without you guys ripping each other's heads off, okay?" Charlotte held her palms up as she stood up to push the two cockerels away from one another and back onto their chairs. 

"But even though we are friends, I will not hesitate to tie you to these chairs if it will keep you from fighting."   
Cordelia looked around with an apologetic smile. Mendel sat back down next to Trina who put her hand comfortingly in his and gave him a peck on the cheek. Marvin stood there for another second before plopping down into his chair next to Whizzer with his arms already crossed and immediately began sulking.   
Whizzer rolled his eyes at Marvin's childish behavior and turned back to The Lesbians as everyone except Marvin and Mendel did their best to somehow carry the conversation.   
At some point when the conversation had become actually kind of pleasant, Cordelia mentioned an LGBT party Charlotte and her would be going to that night as their Valentine's Day date. 

Whizzer had already been up for it when he knew it was queer of course. Marvin on the other hand wasn't as easily convinced, in fact he wasn't convinced at all. Whizzer immediately asked her for the address and all of the details. Marvin, arms still crossed, gave Whizzer another one of his looks, this one being distinctly judgemental. At this point Whizzer didn't give him the satisfaction of even trying to figure out what he was trying to say.   
They finished their coffee and split ways. Marvin was still sulking and Whizzer didnt acknowledge it. They didn't say a word on their entire way home, to Marvin's apartment that is.   
"I don't know what you're pissed at me about", Whizzer said when they entered the apartment. "But if you think its gonna keep me from going to the party then you're wrong." 

He hung up his jacket and sat down on the couch to start scrolling on his phone.   
"Actually, that's exactly what I'm 'pissed at you about'."   
Marvin, as always, echoed Whizzer's words and threw them back in his face. Whizzer turned to look at the man with his lips pursed just slightly, his way of letting Marvin know to drop it.   
Marvin, of course didn't. "So you really wanna go to that party, huh?", the man asked. His light tone was as obviously fake as the calm on his face.   
"Yes, I do", Whizzer said with a cold smile before going back to scrolling on his phone.   
"I'm a person who likes actually having fun. You know, that thing where you have a good time?" Marvin sat down next to Whizzer without another word. 

Whizzer couldn't help the small victory smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Finally for once he had left Marvin speechless. In petty retaliation Whizzer busied himself with flirting with some guy on Grindr. The guy had just sent Whizzer his address when Marvin finally said something again. His head jerked upward into the direction Marvin's voice had come from.  
"Yeah?", Whizzer asked.   
"Just come over here!" Marvin was calling out to him from the kitchen.   
Whizzer groaned and dragged himself to the kitchen. "What is it?", he asked.   
When he saw Marvin stand there he knew something was different. Marvin was standing there in an actually somewhat fashionable outfit, first of all.   
He wore dark washed blue jeans and a light grey button up. But there was something else about him that was simply off. Whizzer couldn't put his finger on it.   
"Come here", Marvin said and beckoned Whizzer over. 

Oh, so this was what was going to happen. Whizzer walked over to Marvin, ready to close the distance and give the man what he wanted when Marvin put his palm against Whizzer's chest and... smiled?  
Whizzer stopped in his tracks, giving Marvin a quizzical look. He tried to figure out what he could want. The only thing of note were Marvin's eyes, though.   
He knew that look. He hated that look. It made him long for something that didnt exist, something that wasn't realistically possible and he didn't like it. Not one bit. Before he could even ask what the hell Marvin was up to, the shorter man took a deep breath and spoke.   
"Hold out your hands and close your eyes."   
He had absolutely no idea what Marvin was getting at, so he just stared dumbly at the man. 

"What?", he asked with a furrowed brow.   
"Just hold out your hands and close your eyes", Marvin repeated himself. He sounded almost desperate. Whizzer blinked and pursed his lips slightly.   
"Um, sure?", he said and complied.   
He listened for a hint as to what Marvin was up to. Surprisingly Whizzer's intent listening paid off as he heard Marvin take a deep breath. He touched Whizzer's hands and placed something inside them.   
"Now open your eyes", Marvin's said quietly. When Whizzer opened his eyes he looked down to see what Marvin had put in his hands.   
He had to be seeing things. In the palm of Whizzer's hands was a candy heart with the inscription 'Will you be my valentine?'.   
The idea of valentine's day and even love in generally may be nice, but was it really realistic? Whizzer wasn't sure he bought it. He just stared at the heart, blinking, not knowing what to say. 

Marvin spoke with a soft yet insistent gaze. "Will you be my valentine?"   
Despite all of the rationalizations a small smile took hold of Whizzers face. Whizzer looked back up again and faced Marvin, the smile claiming more and more of his face in the process.   
Apparently the naive romantic hadn't died within Whizzer completely because he slowly nodded at him.The corners of Marvin's mouth lifed slightly as he looked at Whizzer and nodded.   
"Good. Because I made dinner reservations", he said, raising his eyebrows and not breaking eye contact.   
"Unless you want to go to the party, of course."  
Whizzer crossed his arms and looked back at Marvin. This was Marvin trying to get his way, he knew that. But then again being taken out for dinner was a thing he always had a hard time saying no to. 

He chewed on his lower lip as Marvin looked at him expectantly. "Dinner sounds great", he said.   
Marvin smiled warmly at him."We're leaving at seven", he said. "So however long you're gonna take to get ready, keep that in mind."   
Marvin walked past Whizzer. "You'd better be ready at seven", Marvin said knowingly.   
"I will, just relax", Whizzer said as he followed him into the living room, arms still crossed. Marvin stayed silent.  
"I'm not gonna make us late by geting ready", Whizzer insisted.   
"Yes, you will", Marvin said with a smile as he sat down on the couch.   
Whizzer sat let himself fall down onto the couch next to him.   
"I won't", he muttered quietly.   
Marvin leaned towards him with a smirk and whispered. "Yeah, you will."


	8. Dinner For Two (Desert Not Included)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marvin and Whizzer go out for dinner. Whizzer gets cold feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

It was 6:45 pm and Whizzer stood in front of the bedroom mirror with two outfits, his hair not even remotely close to ready. After some internal conflict Whizzer was finally able to choose one over the other and went to the bathroom to style his hair.   
He had just put some hair gel onto his hands when Marvin appeared in the bathroom mirror behind him with his arms crossed and a self satisfied smirk on his face.   
Whizzer rolled his eyes. "Don't", he quietly.   
"I'm not saying anything", Marvin replied with a smirk. "Except-"   
"Don't", Whizzer interrupted him.   
"I told you so", Marvin said with a shit eating grin and walked out of the bathroom.  
Whizzer breathed out and kept styling his hair. He'd be done before they need to leave, he swore to himself. But then he wasn't. 

It was now 7:15 pm and he was still adamantly styling his hair. Marvin showed up in the reflection behind Whizzer once again.   
"I told you so", he said again, this time before Whizzer could say anything. Whizzer put down his comb and faced Marvin.   
"Alright, Marvin. You were right, I was wrong. Can you please let me finish styling my hair so we can go?", Whizzer snapped at Marvin, who just smiled at him.   
"You still have fifteen minutes", Marvin said calmly. Whizzer just looked at at him.   
"What?", he asked in confusion, any frustration had fallen away.   
"I knew you'd take this long, don't worry. Just finish doing your hair."   
Marvin stepped closer to Whizzer still smiling at him. 

"Even though I will mess up your hair later anyways", he said with a small smirk.   
"Don't you dare mess it up while we're out." Whizzer poked Marvin's chest and turned back around to continue styling his hair.   
Whizzer was done with his hair five minutes before they had to leave, only to be attacked by Marvin. A short make out session later the hair on the back of his head was standing up again.  
Whizzer just looked at Marvin with pursed lips, his eyebrows raised, and Marvin only snickered.   
"You didn't say anything about messing it up while we're here", he said with an innocent grin.   
What an asshole. Whizzer should be mad. But he wasn't, he actually had a hard time hiding his smile. 

They made it to the restaurant on time, just like Marvin had said. Marvin had picked a nice thai restaurant for them to eat at. They had some nice banter and the food was nice. It was nice. Too nice. At one point both of them reached for their wine glass Marvin's hand brushed his Marvin let his hand linger before picking up his glass and taking a sip. And then he looked at Whizzer with those soft eyes. Whizzer smiled before he quickly picked up his wine glass, taking a sip to hide whatever it was that his reaction qualified as.   
He should like this. He should want this. He should be enjoying this. If he was really in love with Marvin this should be everything he wanted. But it did nothing except make his chest feel tight and leave a sour taste in his mouth.   
Marvin and him walked home together, their arms brushing against one another. They got home and Marvin kissed Whizzer against the front door. 

Less than half an hour passed before the two were lying in bed. Whizzer simply couldn't sleep. That was not all. He couldn't do any of this. This thing between Marvin him wouldn't last, couldn't last. Whizzer closed his eyes for a moment, feeling Marvin's chest against his back. Marvin was probably half asleep already. With Marvin's arms wrapped around him the restricted feeling got even worse. Marvin's arm felt heavy and tight around his middle, weighing him down.  
No, this wouldn't end well, he knew it. Slowly and carefully Whizzer slipped out of Marvin's grasp. He looked at Marvin, who was now a bit more awake.   
"Where are you going", he murmured sleepily.   
"Just going to the bathroom", he lied.   
Sneaking through the living room he collected his outfit he'd worn out at the restaurant and put each item on as he went. He grabbed his keys and checking his pockets he realized he'd forgotten his phone in the bedroom. Shit. 

He silently made his way back to find Marvin completely asleep. For once life wasn't trying to throw rocks in his path. He slid his phone off the bedside table and tiptoed out of the bedroom, leaving the door cracked open slightly rather than closing it.   
He left the apartment and finally he was outside. The crisp night air immediately cleared his mind. But the lingering nervous wouldn't let him be. He took out his phone to look for a bar, to go somewhere and forget about this sick feeling in his stomach.   
That moment a new message came in on Grindr:   
"U up? I'm still up for it if u r?" - Chase  
Whizzer replied almost too quickly:   
"I'll be there in 20"   
When he arrived Whizzer was let in by the guy, who offered him a drink right away. Gratefully, Whizzer immediately took a swig. 

After some not even all that awkward preamble and two drinks which only added to the wine he'd had before they went at it. Whizzer pushed Chase down onto the couch and kissed down his neck, trying to clear his mind and actually enjoy himself.   
Chase switched gears and flipped their positions. It all became a blur of skin against skin, lips sucking on Whizzer's neck. Whizzer should have stopped him, probably. So he wouldn't leave any trace and all. Probably. But he didn't. A while of fucking later Whizzer had cleaned himself off and was getting dressed again.   
"Maybe we could do this again", Chase said, already lying down and ready to sleep once Whizzer left.   
"Maybe", Whizzer said with a mischievously innocent smirk. "We'll see."   
Whizzer left, knowing full well that he would never see him again. He stepped outside again into the cold air and he felt indescribably lighter. He could breathe again. 

It was 1:30 am and Whizzer didn't know where to go, so he went to a bar. There he sat down and sipped on a cocktail for as long as it lasted him, drinks were expensive as fuck after all. When his drink was done and he was just about to leave some guy ordered him another drink. He'd take any excuse to get around having to figure out where to go next. The alcohol was doing its magic as Whizzer finally decided to head home after his second drink.  
It was 3 or 4 or something like that when Whizzer stumbled into the apartment. The alcohol was now in full effect as Whizzer shut the door much louder than necessary. He kicked off his shoes and had to try multiple times before successfully hanging his jacket on the wardrobe. 

Trying and failing to be silent by stumbling against furniture Whizzer slowly and ineffectively made his way to the bedroom. In drunk hope that Marvin wouldn't realize he'd been gone for literal hours, he took off his clothes in the living room before reentering the bedroom. He tried getting into bed when Marvin stirred.   
"Whizzer?", Marvin murmured as his eyes blinked open slowly. "What the..?"   
"Just go back to bed", Whizzer said and laid down. Marvin looked at him with half closed eyes and scrunched his nose.   
"You reek of booze", he murmured slowly.   
Marvin looked at Whizzer sleepily before he seemingly put the pieces together and his eyes went wide. He gaze was fixated just below Whizzer's face.   
"Where the fuck were you?", he asked.   
"I just went out for a drink, alright?", Whizzer deflected as he fixed his pillow to lay down more comfortably and closed his eyes. 

"Bullshit", Marvin said. His jaw was squared and his eyes wide and cold.   
"Will you let me sleep? I'm tired", Whizzer snapped and turned onto his other side, facing away from Marvin. He heard the bed creak from.what was likely Marvin turning to face away from him.   
"Fine", Marvin spat.   
"Thank you", he replied in a petty and saccharine tone.   
The relief from having sex with Chase had let him feel in control for the first time in a while. That didn't make the lack of one of Marvin's arms around his middle any less noticable, though. Even if Marvin's arm felt heavy, that made it no less comforting.   
Whatever, he told himself. You win some, you lose some.   
That night Whizzer had a much harder time falling asleep. It was probably because it was a full moon or something like that. 

The next morning Whizzer woke up to his skull buzzing and pulsating. Light hurt, thinking hurt, he felt like death. As if that weren't enough, he remembered last night's sexcapades. It was official, Whizzer made terrible choices. That just seemed to be who he was apparently.   
His stomach was in knots. That could definitely be attributed to something other than having a sensitive stomach from binge drinking the night before. Despite his gut doing gymnastics with every little movement of his, the sick satisfaction and relief from having regained at least some form of agency were still there, if not palpable. He had proved to himself yet again that he didn't need anyone.   
Just blinking his eyes open for a moment worsened his headache considerably, so when he finally actually opened his eyes he realized that Marvin wasn't in the bed with him. 

Suddenly he was painfully aware of the lack of Marvin next to him and he didn't like it one bit. Frustratingly, he was just much too hungover to know what to do with that piece of information.   
Whizzer sat himself up with a groan. Moving was uncomfortable, sitting still was uncomfortable, oh god, would someone kill him already? He decided to suck it the fuck up and staggered to the kitchen for his morning coffee. In the kitchen he saw Marvin move around the kitchen.  
"Good morning." Whizzer leaned against the kitchen counter, feeling exhausted already from his short journey.   
It was silent as Whizzer watched Marvin make their morning coffee. Whizzer saw Marvin reach for his favorite coffee cup, taking it out of the cupboard with a fuckton of unnecessary noise. Whizzer winced and scrunched up his nose at the volume of the noise. 

Marvin then set the cup down on the counter and poured coffee in it before setting it down in front of Whizzer with an amount of unnecessary force, making a thumping sound, coffee spilling over and splattering all over the counter.   
"Any louder and you'll wake the dead", Whizzer quipped with a pained expression as if it would make Marvin's mood any less sour.   
Marvin took a sip of his coffee, not even looking at Whizzer. "Maybe don't drink so much next time when you sneak out late at night so you don't end up hungover?"   
"Maybe stay the fuck out of my business?" Whizzer wasn't going to take anything like that from Marvin, especially when he already felt like shit.   
Marvin leaned against the kitchen counter with his hip and smiled condescendingly at Whizzer, arms crossed. 

He looked like a teacher talking to the slow kid in class with some shitty fake compassion. "I hope you at least had fun last night. Was he good?"   
Marvin struck and Whizzer bit back. "He was, actually. Thanks for asking."  
Marvin looked at him for a moment. His shoulders dropped for a moment only to return to normal with Marvin's next inhale.   
"You say that I have issues. And then you run off and screw random guys. That's so fucking low, even for you." Marvin put his cup down as if to punctuate his last sentence.  
"Oh, get over it", Whizzer spat.   
This was so fucking ridiculous. Marvin probably didn't care anyways, so throwing shit like that in his face was obviously uncalled for. How could he expect Whizzer to? 

"You know what? Fuck you." Marvin glared at him.   
"He did. Twice." Whizzer glared back at Marvin with a cold grin on his lips. He was too hungover not to go for the low hanging fruit.   
Marvin just blinked at him. He closed his eyes for a moment before he slammed his fist onto the kitchen counter. "Damn it!"  
Whizzer flinched, both in pain and a mix of surprise and fear.   
Without another word Marvin walked to the coat hanger, grabbed his jacket and left, slamming the door shut on his way out. Whizzer was left frozen, still holding his favorite cup. His heart was racing with the adrenaline rush and his face burned with shame as he deflated. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and closed his eyes, trying to keep his breathing steady.   
He didn't know what he wanted out of this with Marvin, but one thing he did know. This was not remotely like he wanted it to be.


	9. Friends Never Really Say Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whizzer spots Mendel getting wasted at a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun!

Marvin and Whizzer kept fighting and screwing, and fighting only to screw again. In between Whizzer ended up in a bed he'd never be in again. Neither of them seemed to know what they were. Whizzer at least didn't. He knew what some part of him may want it to be. But that was about it. It was just wanting and maybe a bit of hoping and that's all it would ever be.   
Whizzer was at another house party Charlotte had invited him and Marvin to. There were quite a few of those parties, more than one could count. Marvin was off something, doing whatever with whoever and it didn't bother him whatsoever. It didn't affect his mood at all, of course. 

Whizzer, feeling peeved and petty, had situated himself at the table with the alcohol, sipping his drink. A decently hot guy walked past Whizzer and kept looking over to him. Whizzer smirked and went into hunting mode. After just a bit of eye contact Whizzer walked over and began flirting his ass off.   
The guy whose name he'd obviously forgotten by that point was just about to kiss a now tipsy Whizzer when someone pulled Whizzer away by his arm. He whipped his head around to glare at the asshole. Whizzer's angry face dropped slightly when he saw that it was Marvin.   
Marvin grabbed Whizzer by the wrist, hard. Fuck, that shit hurt. Marvin started pulling Whizzer away. 

While walking Whizzer tried to twist his hand out of Marvin's grasp. But that only made Marvin grab his wrist more tightly. Whizzer didn't feel his blood flow reach past his wrist until Marvin tugged him into a random room and finally let the fuck go.   
Whizzer shook out his hand and massaged his wrist giving Marvin a glare in the vein of 'why the fuck...?'.   
"What the fuck was that?" Marvin stretched out his arm in the direction of the door behind Whizzer.   
"What do you mean?", Whizzer asked, still massaging his wrist. It might just hurt tomorrow. It would be best not to engage with something like this, that's what his drunk brain told him. 

Marvin walked towards him pointing at his chest. "Oh, don't you play dumb with me, Whizzer. You know what you did."   
Whizzer rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. Fine then.   
"Alright", he said. "Then I guess I'll have to spell it out for you. We. Are. Not. Boyfriends." Whizzer punctuated each of his words with a motion of his hands.   
"You seem to like lounging around on someone else's couch well enough." Marvin glared at Whizzer and crossed his arms.   
He looked back at Marvin in exasperated anger. Couldn't he go out to a party at least once without some bullshit drama breaking loose? That was probably the whole thing with college parties in the first place. Whizzer was so fucking done with Marvin's shit at this point. 

"Whatever. I'm not having this discussion. Whatever else you got going on that you nearly sprained my wrist, I don't wanna know. You wanna be pissed? Alright then, be pissed. But I'm going out there and having fun." Whizzer turned around to walk to the door.   
Of course Marvin had to get the last fucking word. "Don't come begging me for more when another guy blows you off after blowing him."   
"Trust me, I won't", Whizzer responded without turning around.   
"Good." He always had to have the last fucking word.   
Whizzer continued walking to the door. "Fine."   
"Fine." Fine, Marvin could have the last word. 

Whizzer left without another word. His face was burning with anger and shame, tears stung in his eyes. He got himself another drink, trying to get back his light attitude from before.   
While walking around a bit he literally stumbled upon his ex roommate. Mendel was sitting on the floor with one leg stretched out. His head was propped up on his knee and his hand weakly clung to an almost empty beer. Mendel had gone off the deep end.   
He crouched down and tapped his shoulder. "Hey, Mendel. You alright?"   
The psychiatrist whipped his head upwards and looked around in heavily drunken confusion.   
"Whizzer... What are you doing here?" Mendel stared at him as if trying to complete a puzzle with a million pieces.   
"Charlotte told me about the party, so I showed up", he said and shrugged. 

Mendel still just looked at Whizzer as if he had three heads.   
"Why are you talking to me?", he asked Whizzer. "Shouldn't you be busy with Marvin or trying to ignore your feelings for him by screwing some guy that is definitely not him?"   
Ever the psychiatrist, even while under the influence apparently. Whizzer just blinked at his ex roommate and tried not to get offended at the uncalled for and completely wrong observation Mendel had made.   
"That's enough booze for you, buddy." Whizzer reached for the beer bottle.   
"No, I'm fine." Mendel objected by wrapping his hand around the bottle more tightly. 

After one of Whizzers rare stern looks and just a bit of light, insistent tugging at the neck of the bottle Mendel let go of it, though.   
"Fine, I'm not okay. So what? No big deal. I can handle it. I always do." Mendel needed to sober up and he needed to sober up quick.   
"I'll be back in a minute. Don't you dare move." Whizzer grabbed a cup off the drinks table and rushed off to the kitchen to fill the cup with water. As quickly as possible he returned to Mendel, who hadn't moved an inch.   
He crouched back down and held out his hand for Mendel to take the cup. "Here, it's water."

"I don't need your help." Mendel turned his upper body slightly, probably the amount his drunken and dizzy head would allow him to turn at a time.   
Whizzer still held out the cup. "But you do need water. Just take it." He looked insistently at Mendel until the drunk gave in and took it.   
"Thanks", he murmured and took a sip of water.   
Whizzer sits down next to Mendel shoulder to shoulder so they wouldn't block too many people's way. He wouldn't leave Mendel alone in this condition. That would have been plain irresponsible. For a while he didn't say anything, but he did have quite a few questions.   
"So what's going on?", he asked when Mendel had sipped away about half of his water. "Is it Trina?" 

He'd apparently hit the nail on the head, because Mendel looked down and buried his face in his hands.   
"What happened with her", Whizzer asked with a concerned brow.   
The drunk lifted his head from his hands and looked at the floor with exhausted eyes. "She won't talk to me. The past week she's been getting more and more distant. Now she's not replying to any of my texts or taking my calls."   
Mendel took a shuddering breath before he continued. "I'm scared shitless."   
Whizzer just nodded, choosing not to say anything. They sat side by side for a bit longer while Mendel finished his cup of water.   
"Why are you still here?", Mendel asked finally. "You have no reason to be sitting here next to me." 

Whizzer blew up his cheeks and shrugged before breathing out. He turned to look at Mendel. "That's what friends are for, right?"   
Mendel's brows twitched as he kept his pensive gaze directed at the floor.   
"Mendel, you're still a friend to me, even if you're justifiably mad at me", he said. "I wouldn't let you self destruct like this."   
Mendel nodded and turned his head towards him. "I was very mad. You- you lied to me for weeks, months."   
The drunk man paused for a moment. "But now I just pity you."  
Whizzer scoffed in surprise. "What do you mean, you pity me?"   
"You may have come clean to your friends. But you keep lying. You keep lying to yourself." 

Whizzer closed his eyes and pushed away any of the emotions he was beginning to feel, because that always worked out in his favor. He got up and stretched out his hand to Mendel. "Let's get you home."   
Mendel took his hand and Whizzer pulled him up into a swaying standing position. He put an arm around Mendel's shoulder to make sure he didn't fall over.   
Somehow they made it onto the right subway without Mendel wandering off at his next drunk idea. He did insist that they stop for a slice of pizza, though which they ended up eating on the subway. After they arrived at their dorm Whizzer got some more water for Mendel while he changed into his pajamas. 

Whizzer put down water on Mendel's bedside table. "You had a fight with Marvin didn't you?"   
Whizzer's head snapped up to look at him. How did he know? "I didn't."   
"You sure?", Mendel asked and pointed at Whizzers wrist. Whizzer lifted his hand and saw that his wrist had a shadowy rim around it. He'd completely forgotten about his wrist, but now that he paid attention to it again, it started feeling sore.   
Whizzer massaged his wrist with a very light touch. "We did, but it's really not a big deal."   
Mendel nodded while looking at Whizzer with an earnest expression. "That's what Trina always said."   
Whizzer just had to sit down. He sank down onto the bed that felt almost like it wasn't his now. "It's really not what you think." 

"You can stay the night if you want. This is also your dorm room, after all."   
Whizzer looked up at Mendel with a serious expression. "He didn't do anything. He wouldn't do anything like that and you know it."   
"Yeah." Mendel sighed and nodded. "You're right, he wouldn't. At least I sure fucking hope so." Whizzer winced when Mendel cursed. He usually never did. Must be the alcohol.   
"He didn't and he wouldn't. Except maybe in a fucked up alternate reality, but that's not our problem." Whizzer had to smile at that absurd idea.   
"We can leave that to the alternate versions of us." Mendel chuckled and made himself more comfortable by wiggling around on his mattress like a drunk worm. Whizzer laughed at his friend. 

Stil drunk Mendel propped himself up on his elbows so awkwardly that it made him look like a human seal. "Hey, stop laughing at me", he complained despite starting to laugh himself. Their laughter died down and the tone became more serious again.   
After a moment of silence Whizzer spoke. "I missed being your friend."   
"I missed you, too, Whizzer", Mendel said.   
Whizzer sighed. He really did not wanna go back to the apartment. At all. "I'm gonna stay if that's okay with you?"  
"I offered. And again, it's our dorm." Mendel was already half asleep, which made him slur his words even more than before when he was simply drunk. 

"Thanks." Whizzer made himself ready to go to bed with the bulk of his things which he still hadn't moved to Marvin's out of both conflict avoidance and laziness.   
"That's what friends are for right?"   
"Yeah." Whizzer smiled. "Night, Mendel."   
"Good night, Whizzer."   
As if Mendel had waited for his cue to fall asleep, he began snoring. Whizzer rolled his eyes. He may have missed Mendel, but he surely hadn't missed his snoring.   
With no more conversation happening between the two ex-ex-roommates, Whizzer laid down in his own bed with his own mattress.   
It was surprisingly comfortable for a dorm bed. But there was something off. His bed was too small, it was too empty and lonely by himself in this already small bed. Despite having a very hard time falling asleep, somehow he managed to do it. 

The next morning Whizzer woke up to see Mendel sitting at his desk, bent over books. Studying as always. How he kept the sparse social life he had was a mystery to Whizzer.   
Mendel still looked a bit like a mess, his curls tangled, deep shadows under his eyes and wearing his now wrinkled pajamas. Besides definitely not having slept well or enough he probably started studying again once he had revived his ability to have a semi coherent stream of consciousness.   
"Morning", Whizzer greeted as he got up from the bed. "Thanks for letting me stay the night."   
Mendel jerked his head up to look at him and smiled with an exhausted expression. "Thank you for saving me from myself." 

Whizzer stretched and yawned. "Heard from Trina yet?" At this point she should have gotten back to Mendel. She knew how crazy her boyfriend could get if he didn't know how she was doing.   
Mendel sighed and leaned his head onto one of his hands, rubbing his eyes. "I'm trying not to be too worried. She'll text me today, probably." Now, that was unusual.   
While talking to Mendel Whizzer walked up to his closet. How he had missed having all of his clothes at his finger tips. Feeling incredibly happy that he could put on fresh clothes before he went home- back to Marvin's, he changed.   
Whizzer knew this was his cue to leave. Things weren't back to normal, he knew that. In all honesty he was just glad that he'd gotten the chance to talk to Mendel again. 

He walked to the door and spared a last look at his ex roommate. "I should go. See you whenever."   
"Just so you know, I think I'm not that mad at you anymore", Mendel said and gave Whizzer a significant look. "I mean, I'm still mad. Of course I'm still mad, but..."  
"So I can move back in?" The words really spilled out of Whizzer more than anything else.   
"Not like you ever really moved out." Mendel nodded to Whizzer's side of the room, which was very much still fully decorated and mostly looked lived in. They both started laughing.  
Whizzer smiled and cleared his throat as if preparing to announce something. "Then, I guess... Hey Mendel, I'm going out. Don't know when I'll be back, so don't wait up." 

Mendel smiled back at him and turned his chair around before responding in a light hearted tone. "If you don't text me if you're staying somewhere else I'll call the police."   
Whizzer couldn't help but chuckle and shake his head. God, how he had missed Mendel. He hadn't even realized just how much Mendel had been missing from his life.  
"Alright, mom." Whizzer rolled his eyes as he opened the door and got ready to leave. One last time he turned to Mendel with genuine care and worry in his voice. "Good luck with Trina."   
His now ex ex-roommate looked over his shoulder and nodded once with a sad smile."Good luck with Marvin."

Whizzer blinked for a moment as he remembered what exactly Mendel was taking about before he left the dorm, closing the door behind himself.   
Mendel's worry about Marvin's actions towards him was sweet and all, but of course there was nothing to actually be worried about. And if there ever were, Whizzer could take Marvin down easily in any given scenario.   
Still, there were these weird flashes of jagged memories that popped up in his mind's eye. Marvin's glare as he whipped Whizzer around, the uncomfortably tight grip of Marvin's hand around his wrist, the shadow of a bruise around Whizzer's wrist. Those sharp shards of memories made Whizzer's stomach drop just a bit. He once again rubbed his sore wrist in a soothing motion.


	10. Long Time No See. NOT.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Whizzer goes back to Marvin's apartment for whatever reason after Mendel tells him he can stay at their dorm again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this last chapter of part four.

Whizzer walked into the apartment, mostly giving off an air of nonchalance. That image was betrayed by his looking around from the still open front door to see where exactly Marvin was before putting up his jacket onto the coat rack.  
The front door hadn't been locked Marvin's jacket and shoes were also in their usual place. So where was the bastard? It was cold as fuck outside. Marvin wouldn't have left the apartment for one minute without his unbearably ugly winter jacket.  
He didn't have to come back to the apartment. Really, he could have just texted Marvin. Whatever, he was here now, so he might as well do something with his time. Whizzer had stopped caring about the reasons for why he did anything regarding Marvin a while ago, because that was just what he did. 

Instead of agonizing over it he made himself a cup of chamomile tea. Nothing like some steaming hot tea after being outside in the cold for much too long for the liking of any rational human being.  
He nearly dropped his now full cup when Marvin spoke. "Where were you last night?"  
Oh, so they were gonna have this conversation again? Sure.  
He turned around to face an already frustrated Marvin. This was gonna be a pain in the ass, and not the good kind. "Like I'd have to tell you. You don't need to know that." Sipping at his tea he looked at Marvin with a blank yet somehow annoyed expression.  
Marvin closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he asked again. "Where were you last night, Whizzer?" 

"You're doing great with your breathing exercises. Keep it up." Whizzer's remark simply made Marvin cross his eyes and raise an eyebrow. Fine.  
"I was at my dorm. Mendel was a wasted mess, so I helped him and got him home."  
Whizzer pursed his lips. "Happy?"  
Marvin simply gave him an incredulous look as he pulled his head back in confusion. That double chin was not a flattering look.  
"Mendel was a dick to you, why did you help him?"  
God, Marvin just didn't get it, did he? What a socially inept moron Marvin could be. He gave Marvin a peeved glare.  
"Mendel and I still friends. Friends still help eachother and care about eachother, even if one or both of them fuck up or act like an asshole. You of all people should know that." 

He looked at Marvin before continuing to speak, his tone getting colder and meaner while an icy smile spread across his lips.  
"That's how friendships work, you care about one another and help eachother."  
Whizzer enjoyed seeing that flicker or vulnerability and hurt more than he should.  
Marvin blinked once or twice at him with his mouth agape. After a moment he closed his mouth.  
"I know how friendship works, thanks for unnecessarily explaining it to me." Marvin was already down at the ground, but Whizzer wasn't quite done yet.  
"I'm not sure you do. Friends care about one another." Whizzer punctuated each of his last words with a gesturing of his hands, finally putting down the cup with more force than necessary, unable to keep his annoyance under control. 

Marvin looked at his hand for a second longer than necessary. Whizzer realized it was the hand with his bruised wrist. He quickly pulled it closer to his body and gripped the kitchen counter.  
"I care! Okay?" Marvin broke the silence and looked at Whizzer with wide eyes as if he'd been slapped.  
"I care about Charlotte, I care about Trina as alien as that idea may sound, and I fucking care about you, you asshole!"  
Now if anything were to pull the rug out from under Whizzer, this was it. He just looked at Marvin and blinked.  
He wanted to yell at Marvin, tell him how full of shit he was. He didn't want Marvin to care. That would add so many more layers to this already fucked up picture of dysfunction and betrayal that was them.  
Marvin looked at him, waiting for some biting comment, just like Whizzer himself waited for insults to leave his mouth. But none came. 

"You want me to stop caring? Is that it?" He spoke with eyes so soft it scared Whizzer.  
"Because I can do that, if someone caring about you is so hard for you and offends you as much as it seems to."  
Now, that was just uncalled for.  
"I don't know what you want me to do, Marvin!" He threw his hands outward in exasperation.  
Marvin just kept looking at him. No matter how often Whizzer looked away, his soft eyes were still on him. "Of course you don't", he whispered and chewed on his lower lip.  
"You know, I kept hoping that you'd start caring just a little bit, but that was obviously too much to ask. You obviously don't. But whatever. Drink your tea." He made a dismissive motion with his hand and turned to walk away. 

Oh no, Marvin was not getting out of this conversation. "Marvin!" When he tried to walk away Whizzer caught him by the wrist.  
Marvin's gaze flickered in between his wrist in Whizzer's hand and holding eye contact with him. Whizzer pulled back his hand back quickly.  
He looked down at the ground, not able to actually look at Marvin while he asked the question that would barely pass his lips.  
"You care?" Whizzer frowned at the tone of his voice. This was not an emotional moment. They were not having a moment.  
He looked up at Marvin to see the man giving him a cold look. "I'm choosing to ignore anything you say from this point on. Feel free to take it personally." 

Whizzer should let this go. They should just get past this and stop trying to talk or think about this as something more than it was or would ever be.  
"So you don't care about what I have to say about this? You don't think this is worth talking about?" Whizzer didn't have his mouth under control today. And quite frankly, he wanted to slap himself for it.  
Marvin turned and walked away. "I care, you don't, it's fine. Drink your tea."  
"Now that I wanna talk, you don't. Very mature, Marvin", Whizzer spat.  
Marvin stopped in his tracks and stormed back towards Whizzer, which made him stumble back a few steps.  
"You tell me I'm an asshole and that I don't care. And you keep calling me the immature one here." Marvin was poking at Whizzers chest to punctuate what he was saying. 

"But you are the person here who keeps running off to fuck the next guy in the vicinity whenever things get serious between us, maybe other times, too!"  
And there it was yet again.  
"Are things serious between us? Tell me, Marvin, because I'd really like a fucking answer."  
"I don't know! I want them to be!" Marvin's words landed like a rock falling down a steep cliff, hard and with impact.  
"What?" Marvin wanted something serious with Whizzer. That's what Marvin wanted? He had to be having a stroke. Whizzer was the last guy anyone should want to get into a relationship with. He didn't do relationships. He was just not cut out for something like that. None of his family were, simple as that. 

The relationship thing just wasn't for him, he knew that. But Marvin apparently needed a refresher. "Look Marvin-"  
Marvin immediately lifted his finger while interrupting him. "No, Whizzer, I get it. I know that you wanna keep this fun. It's not like I'm professing my undying love to you. We can keep this just fun."  
Whizzer stared at Marvin. This was so easy. There was so little resistance.  
Whizzer had anticipated a long drawn out battle, which he'd fight with bared claws, trying to convince them both of the truth. But Marvin had simply relented.  
Whizzer nodded. "Good." His voice was even more quiet than before.  
"Then it's settled. Just fun." Marvin smiled at him, but his smile had a weird edge to it. 

Whizzer nodded. "Just fun."  
Fun was good. Fun was easy. Fun was what Whizzer was best at anyways.  
"Just fun", Marvin agreed. He always had to have the last word didn't he?  
Marvin walked off to the living room and sat down on the couch, likely to watch something.  
Something felt off. Why did Whizzer feel disappointment? Why was fun suddenly not enough? Instead of thinking about it Whizzer joined Marvin on the couch with his cup of tea.  
Whizzer would have to break to Marvin that he could go back to his dorm. But couldn't that wait a few days? Yeah, it could wait a few days. With that decided made himself more comfortable against Marvin's side. He'd of course told Mendel he wouldn't be coming back that night  
They were watching some more of BoJack horseman, of course. 

They couldn't stop now that Whizzer was invested. He was feeling tired, though. His eyes slowly closed before he quickly opened them again.  
Marvin was probably watching him, because he spoke up soon enough. "You should sleep."  
"Thanks, mom, but I can handle myself." Whizzer glared at him, his heavy lidded eyes rendering his glare invisible.  
Marvin simply rolled his eyes and rais3d his eyebrows in resignation. "Fine, but don't complain to me if you fall asleep and your neck hurts like a bitch."  
"I won't", Whizzer said, sitting up and crossing his arms to prove his point.  
"Yeah sure." Marvin huffed out a laugh.  
"Yeah, you'll see." Whizzer kept his eyes on the TV. But his eyes kept on betraying him. 

His eyes kept closing and stayed shut for longer and longer. He decided to rest his eyes for just a moment. It couldn't hurt, right?  
Next thing Whizzer knew, the living room was dark, only illuminated by the still running TV. His neck fucking hurt. He looked around to see Marvin lying there. Marvin seemed to have made himself more comfortable and fell asleep after that.  
Whizzer just watched him for a moment, feeling some strange sense of longing. Marvin was lying half on his back, the back rest of the couch keeping him from rolling over completely.  
Maybe Whizzer would fit into Marvin's arms just right? He immediately scolded him for a thought like that. But, then again. 

Something in Whizzer called out and his slow and sleep addled brain couldn't rationalize away his urge to be close to Marvin right now. So he simply laid down in Marvin's arms. Marvin hummed which made him stall mid movement.  
"I told you you'd fall asleep", he murmured and put his arm around Whizzer and- This didn't feel claustrophobic at all.  
This was not their usual after sex lying together of 'well, you're here and I'm here so why the fuck not'. This was not at all what they normally did and Whizzer hated himself for his flip flopping around in regards to boundaries. This was not just fun but felt so nice nonetheless.  
Was this a possibility at all? Whizzer didn't want paradise, he didn't want a fairytale and he didn't need something with a perfect happy ever after, either. But moments like these, moments like these were good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I need some time to piece everything together and figure out how I'm gonna continue with this story.  
In the mean time, I hope you don't miss the story of these two idiots all too much! 
> 
> See you in the next part!


End file.
